There was something untrustworthy about him. I didn’t like it. I hadn’t liked any of it so far, in fairness, but this little man rubbed me the wrong way. He was smiling, oh, he was smiling, but I was certain that underneath that smile lay the smirk of a malcontented kneebiter with a Napoleon complex. I imagined he lorded over the mail room, denying even the simplest pick-up or delivery from anyone he saw fit, just because he could.

“Hey Gary!” said a tall, cheery-looking fella walking into the mail room with a ridiculously long box under his arm. “Any chance you can get this out in the next UPS shipment?”

Not likely, I thought, smirking. I bet this jerk is gonna tell Stretch here to ‘use the damned UPS machine yourself’ and then…

“Sure, no problem!” smiled Gary. “Tell you what, just leave the box there on the table and I’ll get to it shortly.”

Then, almost immediately after Stretch left the room, Gary jumped out from his seat and began processing the new package.

What fresh Hell is this?