Maybe this was what all the songs were talking about. The rush of it. Hormones, surely, but they felt like so many things.

Like the excitement you feel as kid when you’ve climbed to the very top of the tallest tree. The way your palms sweat and tingle when you know you’re just moments away from victory. The kick of adrenaline right as the rollercoaster starts to speed up. The simple joy of summer vacation.

And the crushing fear when you realize that you’re not sure how to climb back down that tree. The shock and hurt of losing when you’ve worked so damn hard to win. The despair when your stomach turns and you realize they won’t stop the ride just so you can get off. The disappointment when the weather turns cold and the freedom ends.

Highs and lows. It’s just another drug. She’s just another girl.

I’m just another jackass who fell for her and never got helped up.