I like this, there’s good emotion in it. Couple little things…I would spend the characters and place a hard return between your paragraphs, makes it a little easier to read, IMO. And you’ve a typo, “Than this meeting” should be “Then”, no? Oh, oh…and welcome to Ficly! :)
I like this, there’s good emotion in it.
Couple little things…I would spend the characters and place a hard return between your paragraphs, makes it a little easier to read, IMO.
And you’ve a typo, “Than this meeting” should be “Then”, no?
Oh, oh…and welcome to Ficly! :)
You cannot slay the one you love. 4 out of 5 because it’s a wonderful piece but the rhythm seemed a bit jumpy. But I love the scene… Well done!
You cannot slay the one you love.
4 out of 5 because it’s a wonderful piece but the rhythm seemed a bit jumpy.
But I love the scene… Well done!
i always screw up than and then This is awesome I am complete obsessed with sword fighting, honor killing, Edo period Japan, and baddass killers so this is right up may alley. it is written well and rivetting. welcome to ficly.
I love the mood. The last part reminds me of the turning of thought that usually ends a haiku.