EPIC WIN

A GAJIRRION PENCILS TO YOU

Heh, fooled me the whole way.

awesome i knew i would get your pencils today

well it was the burning lava into each part that did it. Set the color red up, added to the tone.
Man, you got me..
here’s your freakin pencils.. nut.

onions? he was cuttin some stinkin onions??!!!! Geesh!

really Mama Murph only three?

the pencils are free if you run out Kevin will give you more.

ONIONS?? I thought it was gonna get gorey! So much for stinkin thinkin!!! Maybe you can get one more pencil for tricking me! Only because you almost begged.

Well, sounds like someone got a little carried away haha

I don’t know that Jack the Ripper was known for his precision, but like Elsha I loved how you brought the lava into it. I think that’s what kept me fooled, because it kept me thinking “red” even though I was reading the story (given the nature of the contest) trying to think of how it could be different than what it seemed.

lurrrrrvely… especially counterpointing the clinical precision with the tears. loads of cleverly meted out imagery, and a nice stinging twist

well thanks yall

I am sitting here in my college dorm (I just moved in, hence my absence), staring at my computer screen, because this story was so awesome. Nicely played, Mighty-Joe Young.

By the way, this ending is still delightfully ambiguous. Did he really just cut up the onions? Or was his remark a deliberately ironic remark, gloating over a grisly act?

Oh leave it to you Rorschach to peel the mind of the author.

I was fooled all the way till the end, which is funny, since you were actually cutting onions for me last night. Hey you know Chuck Norris is so tough, when he cuts onions, they cry.

I forgot to give you pencils sorry.

You’re out of lemons.

But his brain runs on onions my dear lady.
unfortunately he is out of those also, and garlic is hardly a substitute. Maybe lemons would work right now.

Hahahaha my god…that was funny

thnx death A

See? I told you your story was awesome.

TWIST! I do like Rorshach’s idea that maybe the killer’s just being funny at the end…

Bravo!

Wow, great. You had me worried there initially!

I love a good twist ending, especially when it’s just one sentence that changes the entire way you see the story.

Haha, you got me! This is great, you had me convinced until the end.

@NotYou: hahahahahha. I feel a Chuck Norris challenge coming on.

id pat you on the back if i could :-p

F-F-F-FEATURED!!!!

wow…a freakin’ onion?!

Kudos! Ya got me . . . and everyone else! lol

Just jokingly I said to my dad “And this is the part where he’s cutting onions.” and then I read the last line and cracked up laughing. Good job getting featured =]

thanks everyone.

you had me going up to the voice

Yeah, once I read about the tear-filled eyes I knew something was up. In terms of the challenge, you did marvelously. In terms of letting down my macabre desire for a truly horrible story, yeah, you did that too. So giant kudos and a big raspberry to you, sir.

Read this right after the “organs” pick up line in my challenge and so I was initially worried… then I saw the twist at the end and the comments about how it might have been just the killer’s sic k sense of humor, and I thought, hmmmmmm….wait, I think I dated this guy, LOL!!!

I forgot to mention I noticed you chose a “balding” man….was that also a sign of an uncontrolled situation that added to his rage?

if i say yes do i get another pencil?

Oh, that was sweet. As soon as I started reading, I was wondering what the twist would be. Did not expect onions, though. :-D

Terrific job, MJY! And grats on the feature.

That was amazing! Had me fooled!

Hotness… very nice…reminds me of my mom and her horrific onion fetish…

Sorry dude. I may be bucking the trend, but I thought “he’s cutting an onion” at paragraph two. That said, I am impressed by how you disguised it the whole way through. The lava is a nice touch. I’ve sliced onions like that.

I saw it coming, but still well executed.

thanks quacker

But I loooove onions. Why is everyone being sooo cruel to them. ‘Only onions’, indeed. Loved it mjy

Greatness!