I like it, very consistently in the voice of someone from a time ancient enough to have only such things on which to rely to ensure a good harvest and season. The one continuity thing, as I think on it now, is the cube thing. On first read, that was one of my favorite bits, the switch from state to form, but it doesn’t really fit with a primitive culture that wouldn’t have ice cubes.

yes, it was the only flaw, but the poem was written first, lets just pretend it gets cold enough for them to ice fish..