As the last tag suggests, this is an experimental piece. Feedback would be appreciated, but there’s no need for ratings. If you must rate, be frank, blunt, and (if need be) brutally honest. BUT, you must give me relevant feedback if you rate, especially if you give a low rating.

And, if you feel like sequeling, please keep the character notation, rhyming pattern, meter, and so forth.

~g2

this is nice i like the meter
i dont like the last line its kind of cumborsome, all those hard consonants in a row or something but i do like the poem.

inner conscious attacks guilty person, tonight at 11!
there is just a lot of story missing..what stories don’t match, what crime are they admitting to, and how will the conscious make them pay, guilting them to death? i feel like this needs a sequel.
rhyme and meter is great, and your signature mark is shortening words to make them fit, which is what I love about your poems.

This is so strange, and yet, I find myself liking it immensely. I don’t know how I feel about the mixture of old English and modern, but you definitely stuck to a rhyming pattern throughout, which def deserves applause. I’d like to see where this goes…

I didn’t see it as an inner concious thing, but I think that came across because of the italics. Originally it was just some other guy with the original speaker, but the inner conflict idea is an interesting one to consider…