A nice piece.

a small void…….

Simple, elegant, eloquent; beautiful.

fuckin’ A, dude, fuckin’ A

five pencils :)

Man.

I wish I could do emotional imagery half as well as you do.

Beautifully done.

:)

A somber antidote to Auden’s “Stop all the clocks….” They don’t stop, do they…

No they don’t. it feels like the world is going to end, but the sad truth is that it isn’t, its just going to drag on and on.

There was not coverage at eleven for the people who missed it at eight.
The sun still came up like it always did in september,
but from now on it will just be a little less bright.

These lines were my favorite. <3 Stay strong, MJY. Keep fighting.

I don’t believe that the world is salvageable either, but unfortunately, it will just keep dragging on and on. It won’t end. The world will not end, no matter how disgusted you are with it, it will drag on and on.

I love you, Joe.

This is absolutely, despairingly, wonderfully beautiful.

I’m so, so sorry for your loss.

Awwwwwwwwww

wow. Beautiful.

Like Coccinella, I thought of Auden’s “Stop the Clocks” when I read this. It’s absolutely beautiful, Joe.

I love your work, Simple but I was intrigued throughout the whole piece!

“A match
And a razor blade.
Nothing funny about that.”

Well written. The one, tiny change I would advise would be to remove “just” from the last line.

thanks burger. i appreciatte it

burger gets 100 awesomeness points for his pen name’s lovecraft reference. yeah i forgot to rate too.

You know, it doesn’t surprise me one bit that she knew what was in the globe of a flag pole. Not too many people do, but she’s the type who would know something like that.

I miss her.

I miss her too.

I think it always feels bizarre when the world doesn’t stop in lieu of a deep personal tragedy. I think there’s a reason beyond the obvious. In this case, the reality of everyday life continuing serves as a small distraction from the reality that a loved one is missing.

This story evoked a certain feeling, almost like a rainy day feeling. Sad, but in a good way.

Powerful in its gentle message.

Beautifully written.

so simple, so beautiful. a plus. wow.

Eloquent and beautiful, Joe. My heart goes out to you.

The first line seems like it’s missing a couple of words. And the seventh line is much too long. Seems to break the flow of the work.

Looks good otherwise.

@stewart there was another poem called The cold september that is why it sounds wierd. and the seventh line is an Aside like in a play where the characters stop and turn to the audience to monologue.

Interesting. I didn’t know about Cold September. I’ll check it out.

The aside is a neat idea, but I think it disrupts the flow of the story.

wow eddie. beautiful in every way. Time may not stop, but it goes a lot faster than we want it to. Life may drag on and on but it goes all too fast. enjoying the times when you feel like it isn’t dragging along makes the day to day time feel a little brighter. 1 million pencils, even though that isn’t possible =)

Thanks blue you rock.

love you eddie =)

love you too blue sparrow, you and everyone else from the fic chat have really been there for me. thank ya’ll so much.

I want to say something, but I don’t know what to say. You just stated it perfectly. And while this poem has a certain universal appeal(everyone has been shell shocked at some point by a personal tragedy that the public at large may know nothing about), it is a wonderful tribute for one brilliant person who is gone to soon. The flag should be at half mast, the roads should close, we should all wear black arm bands for a month and listen to Leonard Cohen over and over at night. I miss you so bad…

I have no idea why I didn’t find this sooner… MJY, this just about broke my heart to read, it’s that beautiful.

I know it’s been a long time since this happened, and since I’ve had much contact with much of anyone from ficly, but my heart still goes out to you for this loss.

Thanks square i wouldnt have gotten through this HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR ONE FRIEND IN THE REAL WORLD AND EVERYONE IN THE FICLYVERSE HOLDING ME UP. Sorry for yelling it just made me emotional.