whoa the plasma doors are cool, but this is a wild ride, and i can’t tell if she is in danger or even awake on this adventure. so much packed in here..

Revised.

Still a lot in here. It’s all very fantastical and interesting, but with any fantasy story you have to strike a balance between plot, character development, and your imagined/created elements. Too much of the first too, and the reader asks themselves, “Why does this need to be sci-fi/fantasy?” Too much of the latter, and the reader winds up detached and uninterested in what happens—no emotional investment, which then becomes a waste of all the really cool stuff you’ve dreamed up.
The previous bits of this felt more centered and balanced, but this one definitely felt too heavy on the fantastical elements.
Also, you use a lot of run-on sentences. I think it’d be worth reviewing sentence structure and watching to make you keep to “the rules”, as boring as rules are.

@THX Thanks for the advice. Will take it on board. My problem is I write as I think and do not proof read. Thanks again