This whole thing was just so beautifully constructed, the imagery and general feel so immersive, you are indeed, cliched though this must be by now, a truly eloquent writer… Bravo!

I don’t know whether you intend to sequel this further, but at some point I might be interested in doing so…? MH

Feel free! I’m considering using this character as part of a future story, but this is a mere snapshot from his life.

I might also end up re-writing (and expanding) this work a little and trying to see if any literary magazines will publish it.

very good!
good luck on getting published!

hmm i almost feel the bard and the driver planned the whole thing.. like there is some kind of plot..

Haha, Elsh, you read something in the story I hadn’t seen!

But what could they be planning by handing out a large bag of coins?

My dad left some criticism for me:

“Work on the stuff like the crowd gathering silently, then the bard approaching silently the very next paragraph. Perhaps “Despite the silence of the crowd, no one heard the bard approach until he asked what happened to the boy” or something like that. And the tears did not run “down her eyes” — the might have run down her face or her cheeks."

This is the kind of constructive, critical advice we need more of here at Ficly.

A lovely story, and it all works together quite nicely. The only gap I’m seeing is the driver’s motivation/character. He rolls over pretty easily here, which mostly fits so could stand as is. Still, just thought I’d mention as a possible area of improvement.

In my mind the driver gave in due to his fear. He was intimidated by the bard’s power.

Wow, Eloquent, you are quite the writer of words. Where do you attend for University?

Sadly, I don’t.

But I will soon be attending a local college to get my English Lit degree, so that I can teach high-school and college Creative Writing and English Lit classes.

oh to win the favor and support of the people, then they could perhaps overthrow the king???
think big..

Hmm… You have a point.

I just love all of this story so much. I have a few ideas myself… Does that invitation to “sequel on” extend to all?

Sequel on.