These are exact words, by the way.
This is something that is not easy to forget.

Ah yes, I feel you on this one StudMuffin. I started walking home from school myself when I was about 7. Never could understand the indoctrination, the lack of respect for the student’s own motives and desires and ambitions. Teachers don’t need to know or care what student want or feel or need or think… Seems a bit out of whack no?

Good story. Props.

wow. you’ve got guts.

Sorry, I don’t agree with the other 2 coments. All I can say is you’re a douche.
When 2012 comes around you’ll wish you got pounded in the arse with useless Mayan calendar shite.

Anyway, it was well written and the grammer wasn’t too bad. Just a suggestion about your writing style though, try to use paragraphs. It helps the reader.

5 pencils for making me laugh.

Just for the record, Krulltar, I am a very firm believer in the Apocalypse of 2012.
However, that’s about where my interest in the Mayans ends…..

Whoa, there Studdly Biscuit. I didn’t say “Apocalypse”, those are big words that are only used by conspiracist nut jobs. hehe…. Let me clarify why you are a douche: You threw you own cellphone on the floor. You didn’t throw a book, you didn’t kick over a chair, and you didn’t kick the class’s star athlete in the noodle sack. You threw YOUR cellphone on the floor. douche.

(She was gonna take it anyway)
And I am not a biscuit. You…. you take that back right now.

My sincerest apologies on calling you a biscuit; but you still are a 5 pencil douche…hehe

I’m just waiting for a girl to comment saying how uncomfortable a 5 pencil douche sounds…..

I’m a girl. And a “5 pencil duche”?? Really?? That is the stupidest thing i have ever heard. You really need to grow up. Honestly. I have heard 6th graders saying that crap and they are the most immiture people I no! It doesnt make me uncomfortable but it makes me want to slap krultar across the face.

Great story btw. Loved it.

It meant to read that his story is worth a 5 pencil rating even though he is still a douche for what he did. Geez, don’t be gross. :(

yes, I relize what u ment. Smarite. (Note sarcasim) I’m no pervert. I think you are. I was refering to the part where u called him a douche. That such an old insult. U really need to update your insult book. Cuz honestly, it sucks.

Hey, let’s all yell at each other instead of comment on the story.

Stud, I like line breaks between my paragraphs, and I’m fairly sure you have room for them. But that’s just me.

Story-wise, it’s certainly somewhat gripping… even though we know the end result, the cliffhanger from the first story to the second is well done.

So… slice a pencil for a little bit of uncomfortable-to-read formatting, but add a pencil for a good cliffhanger and a decently-well-told story overall.

This is funny, but I can only give it one star because it’s really damn hard to read. Put spaces between your paragraphs please! Our brain needs that separation to help our mental pattern recognition system realize where one paragraph ends and the next begins.

As a matter of policy, I will be rating all line-break-less stories with one star from here on out. The whole practice is LAME and needs to stop.

If you put breaks in, let me know and I’ll rerate it.

I changed it.
BOOM

I think you may be misreading the purpose of school. It is not just to provide education, but indoctrination as well. It was once thought that an educated citizenry would strengthen the republic. It’s no longer. Elementary school education was just that. The teaching of the minimum needed for a compliant population. You knew how to read, how to write sufficiently to be understood, how to do math sufficiently well to keep basic accounts, and enough history that you had a basic understanding of government and common culture. After completing it, you were fully qualified to join the adult workforce, at the age of 14 or 15.

Secondary education, what we now call high school, was for more advanced education. Those requiring additional skills, such as clerks and lawyers. Specialty skills were learned from apprenticeships. And originally colleges were for the training of the clergy, medical doctors and the aristocratic or governing classes.

Today we no longer have a society that is prepared to have 14 year olds in the workplace. And so for many, children are warehoused until they are 17 or 18. I know that Hartford CT high school graduation rate was 29 percent in 2007 and they are now boasting they are up to 42 percent. So less than half are completing the “minimal requirements” that society deems needed for success today.

Accept you are being indoctrinated. Regurgitate the required information. Or quit and find yourself disadvantaged for the rest of your life.

It doesn’t matter if it is fair, right or useful. It is the way the system works and not you nor I have the ability to change it.

Ah the joys of being a teenager in high school. Right, Cupcake? lol I feel you here.

haha
I wish Duckie had the insight we, as teenagers have lol

Studmuffin, You sound like a mark twain quote in the making: ""When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

@Kendall Lynne – Sometimes my humor isn’t always fresh, but considering I’m probably old enough to have graduated with your parents, I can’t help but have old jokes, and sometimes those jokes fall flat. The sad part is how we got stuck on the word douche rather that realizing my first comment had a serious critique of his writing in it. And in most cases, my first comments on any story have some type of constructive critique.
Regardless, douche isn’t on Carlin’s 7 dirty words list, plus I said it in jest (which is how I hope Studmuffin took it), but your comment was a bit mean spirited.

lmao.
I think Kendall Lynne misread…..
I KNEW YOU WAS JAY KAYING

and how is the revamped version of my tale??

Sorry you had a bad day, and I certainly understand that a person can reach a breaking point.
I sometimes reach the breaking point when I have to ask a young man for the 5th day in a row to pull his pants up and he says something along the lines of “You shouldn’t be looking at my butt.”
Then I tell him he looks like he has a dirty diaper full of poop. Mysteriously, he pulls his pants up.
See we don’t mean to be nasty bitches, but sometimes that is the only way we get through.
And I hope that you will use a fair amount of that stuff you are learning some day.

Thank you Stargazer you are like the ONLY one who seems to get where I am coming from!!
Oh and Lone Writer too…

We will get through the bad days. We are writers, after all!

wait was this story about? oh yeah! school. well teachers have to teach what we’re told to teach. and confiscate cell phones. Duck is right.

@studmuffin first of all that was lame. If you had takenher phone and smashed it that would have been cool. Had you sjoved her phone down your pants, still cool. Had you pulled a G.G. allen and oh well you get the point, but when you get mad at people destroy their things not yours.
@Krully That was some funny shit 5 pencil douche.
@kendal lynne, Krully wasnt trying to mean he really is a force for good in the universe, he has a cape and everything.
@Stargazer You know what is funny is the practise of sagging the back of the the jeans originated in the prison system. one man would sag his pants so that other men would know he was available, kind of a an orange red light district for inmates who need attention.

I didnt destroy my phone, it landed on the floor and I got my phone back after a three hour detention

oh, and this detention must be served at 7:00 on a Saturday morning,
and only if you pay 10 quid can you get in.

As promised, I changed my rating.

Krulltar- It wasnt supposed to be mean spirited. But, I’m a teenager. We are mean spirited. I’m Oh so very sorry if you took it that way. But a grown man calling someone a duche is just child like. I hear people cusing eachother out everyday. It’s weird to find someone who is old enough to have graduated with my parents saying stuff online. Not cool. That day, I also had reached my breaking. So I am very sorry.

i wish i had the guts to do that

Nothing is as painful to read/see as a young man living out a fantasy of standing up for himself nurtured from too many bad teenage movies.

You’re a writer, try applying writing skills to your anecdotes.

Just to let you know. I was a teenager for a whole seven years. And there is no amount of compensation available on this planet that could convince me to want to go through that again. Especially with the dystopian “zero tolerance” policies now in vogue.

Maybe things will be better after the revolution, but I doubt it.

why is this stuck as featured? lol

IDK
IT’S SO WEIRD

I see what you did there, Cupcake. :p

Haha.
Yep, I totally just hacked into Kevin Lawver’s computer so that I could have my story be featured for all of three days haha.

this is fantastic :)

Sureeeeeeeeee. Not like you started a conversation or anything. That COULDN’T be it…..

hahaha
Why would I do that?!?!?!??

I don’t like the flow of the first three lines; they feel stuttered and passive. And instead of describing what your teacher said, why not give her some dialogue as well? Or was that a conscious choice on your part? Keeping her silent so as to give the reader no chance to empathize with her.

As far as the actual confrontation goes, if this is indeed a true story, you should be ashamed of your actions. Your teacher is simply doing her job, not intentionally wasting your time. If you disagree with the lesson plan, go to the school board meetings and offer up your ideas. Do not, as they say, “shoot the messenger.” Seriously, not cool at all.

I could enjoy this story much more if I knew it were fiction.

Mr. Perkins! Good to know you’re alive!!
Uhh, yeah. This was a real confrontation and that was a choice on my part because I didn’t have enough space to type what she said,
also at the time, I wasn’t exactly listening to her. It was more me just blowing off some steam and losing my phone.
Also, read the prequel, it may clear some stuff up…

I read the prequel, and your phone should have been off, not just on vibrate while in class.

It is somewhat (okay, extremely) hypocritical of me to give anyone grief over antics pulled in class, but I now feel terrible for some of the stuff I did to my poor teachers who were severely underpaid to put up with my insert naughty word for feces here.

I guess the space constraints actually helped you write a better piece, as not allowing her to speak gives more power to your words, and makes her less relate-able as a character. I’m reminded of that scene in “Meet The Parents”

“They say geniuses pick green.”

Greg smugly looks back at the car, then back at Jack and smiles proudly.

“But you didn’t pick it.”