This ficlet paints an interesting image. Very good use of words.

My only complaint is that it seems to leave little room for sequels or prequels.

I like this. Granted, sequels or prequels would have to take some departure from this narrative style, but I don’t think that affects the quality of the writing.

My only feedback would be to restrain from using the actual word ‘oil’, preferably until the last sentence, definitely not twice in the last paragraph – for effect more than anything.

Other than that… Welcome to ficly :)

Blimey! (I’m trying to refrain from using words like “Frecking”) That’s pretty good Tom! It’s like something has been ripped out of Pink Floyd’s DSoTM and posted on your Ficley page! Good job!

Haha, not everything I do is inspired by DSoTM (but most is ¬_¬). No this came to minf when I saw the opening of Five Easy Pieces ;)