Very well written, and good lead into a introspective type story. I loved the details you included, like “tracing hearts”

This is a lovely piece! I too liked the ‘tracing hearts’ detail; such excellent detail! Very good detail and description. Keep it up and I look forward to reading your other work!

you used veil too much in the beginning.
I like the smoke, the jar of fireflies, and the short dialogue that tells us so much. I like your style.

I really like this, especially the ‘tracing hearts’ part, but I agree, the use of veil twice in the beginning is a little distracting and repettitive.

Intimations of love?

You did a bloody good job of describing the smoke, but veil was used one too many times….
if you changed the first or the second “veil” to “cloak”, it would work better.

yeah and this is ridiculously well written btww

thank you for the idea of the word cloak! changing it now.
sorry for replying so late, been a little busy.