I like the descriptions and the build-up. The end is somewhat of an anti-climax for me, though.

Well, true, the story doesn’t really go anywhere, but I think the ending is appropriate. It leaves a bit of room for a sequel, and we don’t have nearly enough of those on Ficly.

Thanks for your comment!

Well written, but I don’t think it created the level of tension and anxiety you were going for.

I don’t know if you intentionally did this, but I like how paragraphs gets shorter and shorter- it’s a cool style.

Love it, what’s the song?

Sorry for the delay… if anyone’s curious, the song is “Not Of This Earth,” by Prong, from the album Cleansing.

I like the tone of this story. It’s hard to describe…. apocolyptic maybe. Like something big is about to happen, but not yet. Nice.