Brad. Calm. It is your job to be photographed with these people…

“Dad, this isn’t really him is it? Tom told me they’re all just actors!”

It is not my job to be pummeled by obnoxious 11 year olds checking if I’m real.

“Hey, Rodent! Hug the kid, we want a picture, get it?”

I’m not a big fan of being ordered around by sweaty men in Hawaiian shirts.

“Come on Marty-kins, cuddle in there… Give him a hug then Mousey, we want a nice holiday snap!”

Is it just me or is that woman’s voice like a drill through my skull?

“Look can we have another one Jimmy? Put the Mouse where you want him, we can’t have the sun in Marty’s eyes he’ll look all squinty!”

Hey, this guy’s manhandling me!

“OK honey, is this alright now? Good, so when I say three, you say cheese!”

I don’t think the guy said ‘when you say three, step on the big mouse’s foot’, did he?

“Mom, dad, he just pinched me!”

“What kind of kid’s entertainer are you?”

Sometimes I could kill my boss – ‘Never speak, it ruins the illusion.’