Turner knew as soon as the word slipped out of his mouth that this wouldn’t end well. “Bollocks” was a generally accepted indication that things were going to get really bad really, really quickly.

Another good indicator was the Engine Malfunction Indicator, which currently flashed a foreboding crimson.

He turned to his robotic First Mate, P45 (a name he’d given the machine when he’d first bought it but that had since lost all comedy value). “Check the Harmonic Regulator.”

Regulator is inactive, replied P45. Quantum core destabilizing. Anticipating full protonic reversal in 17 seconds.

17 seconds? Turner was now prepared to upgrade his “bollocks” to a full-on “holy shitcock.”

He thought about his family back on Earth. He’d never got along with them. That’s why he took this job delivering unprogrammed robots from the manufacturing plant on Ganymede to the Initialization facility on Titan. They’d hear about this accident on the news. “Good,” he thought.

As last thoughts go, it wasn’t exactly a winner.