Joined June 2009.

20 stories, 0 challenges, 39 comments, and 9 friends

Just another procrastinating writer from Scottsdale, Arizona, working on a couple of books & a few short stories. In my spare time, I work at Verizon as a consultant. I first read about ficlets through Scalzi and Wil Wheaton’s blogs. Cool that it’s back online & out of AOL’s deadly grasp.


  1. Diamonds and Rust

    Diamonds are forever, but rust is like a a cold sore — a contagious blister. Diamonds are beautiful, eternal, unbreakable. Rust is ugly, brittle, fleeting… Dad was the diamond and Mom was freaking rust, alright! Damn you! They both had thei...

  2. The Sheep I Married

    He had three toes and a tusk protruding from the top of his head — God damn, he was a cute little bastard. I grabbed him by the tusk and wrestled him to the ground. He didn’t look natural — wasn’t human at all. He kind of looked...

  3. Not Your Average Street Bum (Mature)

  4. A Day at Work in 2018

    Fabric-covered cubicles have been replaced with acrylic bricks that have programmable displays. Dwight, the Assistant to the Regional Manager, programs the displays with motivational quotes. You enter your cubicle, finish your cancer-curing protein sha...

  5. Speak English or Die

    The nearest of the zombies grabbed Hans by the arm and threw him across the lawn. He landed on his butt with an oof and screamed, “Ruf die Polezei! Bitte, hilf mir!” Dan dodged a lazy swat from the fattest zombie and screamed back to Hans. ...

  6. Meine Milkshake

    The zombies attack in a frenzy of insatiable desire for human flesh. They surround the boys in a slow zombie walk, at least twelve of them in all. They swat at Hans, who holds his milkshake in his arms like a newborn baby. “What now?” Hans ...

  7. Colonel Sanders in Outer Space

    Liliana emptied her glass of vitamin water and set it on the counter with a clink. “I want you to know how I feel, Phillip.” “I’ve been waiting a long time to have this conversation.” “You really need to hear this, b...

  8. Dead Tomorrow

    The skeletal creature, similar in appearance to a dragon, said, “James Adam Fickleson, you will die tomorrow in a plane crash.”

  9. If You Read this, You Will Die

    The creature stares at you, the avid Ficly reader, from the other side of your computer screen, and says, “If you are reading this, you will die.”

  10. Into View

    Towering above them, claws extended and feet wide apart, the skeletal creature moved into view.

  11. Meeting Vince's Mom

    “Who the hell are you?” Vince’s mother asked. “Ace-freakin’-Frehly?” “It’s Tony Izadorri, lead guitarist of Black Shark!” “And you’re Billy Gilman!” “Really, Mom, it’ s...

  12. His Beating Heart

    God cuts out his still-beating heart and cups it in Her hands.

  13. The Queen's Wrath

    The driver pulls back the reins, and the carriage comes to a stop with a plodding of hooves and a stirring of dust and dirt. The horses’ nostrils flare and they whinny nervously. The group of men on horseback surround the cart, demanding the driv...

  14. Believe

    “Believe in Me, and I will show you,” She said, waving Her hand until all was black except for a glowing light that enveloped them both.

  15. The One

    “I am the One you love, but do not recognize,” God said, appearing before him and taking his knife in Her gentle hands.

  16. Vince Sings

    Dotty, the drummer, launched into the opening solo as Vince began to sing. Vince stared into the mic, the band puzzled that he had stopped. “What happened?” Tony asked. “Let’s try it again.” Little Vince’s voice was ...

  17. God Responds

    He dropped to his knees and prayed to God for answers, and God responded in Her usual voices.

  18. Vince's Big Break

    The only difference between Vince and the rest of the people auditioning for the lead singer of Black Shark was that Vince was a nine-year-old boy. The lights were hot and bright on the wooden stage, as the curtains behind him fluttered for a few secon...

  19. Hurray, Captain Ficly

    Jason scratched his beard and stared at the ‘AOL’ flag growing larger with every second. “Hoist the mainsail! We’ll fight them with their own weapons. And when they come at us, we’ll throw every bloody phrase in the dictionary at R...

  20. Me and Willie Tee

    The first time Willie Tee tried to kill me I was sitting on a bus-stop bench right outside the Scottsdale mall, eating a Billy Club sandwich and washing it down with an orange-flavored Super Slurp. I watched the mortals walk in haphazard patterns acros...

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