I’m glad Gabe has gone off with Austin, because I really want to be alone. I don’t know why. I’m always alone, and it’s sure not something I enjoy. I guess I feel like wallowing in my misery. Fun.
Numb, I drive home silently. No music. No phone. Just me and my swirling memories, thoughts, expectations, reactions, surprises… and of course her face. The face that arouses anger, desire, and confusion. How is it that she has affected me so deeply in so short a time? How is it that I can hardly know her, hardly ever speak to her, and still feel as though a huge chunk of my life has been torn away? How can I live without her?
That’s melodramatic, a voice whispers in my head. Except it’s not! I want to shout. Frustrated with myself, I bang the steering wheel and hit the gas.
The ice cream is waiting with a sympathetic frown when I get home. Thank God nobody is home. Logging on to Facebook seems like the next logical step. As I flip through her photos, I shovel ice cream into my mouth through my tears.