Sorry to disappoint but we couldn’t let her get away…could we?
How would Therys rescue his distressing damsel if she could rescue herself?!

The first thing that jumped out at me is that the beginning of this piece is very, very similar to the end of the last part you wrote, what with not being able to react to footsteps, something over the head, etc. You may want to reword the opening to make it different. It’s been days since I read that other part, and it was still jarring for me. I imagine it would be much more so if you’re reading through for the first time.

The other thing I am wondering is where these people got a cell. As far as I know, we are still in Juno’s kingdom, so this seems a very unlikely turn of events. If they want to lock her in a room somewhere, that works, but I would think that someone would notice the Denar taking over jail cells. Important word choice there.

I can only assume the voice is Nyci. I’m not sure the captors would want them in the same place, but it would make sense if the Denar are in fact limited to a room in a building they are staying in, as opposed to having cells somewhere.

Aha…the cell is a small room/basement not an actual jail!
The Denar are not too bright and don’t think about putting two young ladies in the same room…
I intended to start the piece in the same way to remind people of Nyci’s imprisonment and to reinforce the repetitiveness of the Denar’s actions…
but I’ll change it if you really want that…

Other than kaellin18’s comments, which are fair, my only concern is that Juno is not a damsel in distress, and I think the last part showed that. With her empty of magic, the only real possibility of escape left is Therys, which seems a bit typical. Maybe somebody will come up with something to work around that – I kind of hope so…

With regards to the writing, it has moments of really nice description – the capture itself, and Juno’s pride even in defeat, which seems very true to her.

The line of Denar dialogue was nice as well I thought. Short, but effective.

I think the only problem with this series now is that people seem to want to take what they’re given from previous entries, and take the plot as far in another direction as possible – good storytelling isn’t TOTALLY reliant on a twist in every section…

Still, I look forward to seeing where the story goes from here – MH :)

I’ve already sent Abby a note regarding this but basically I think this is an okay piece.

MH has a point about the numerous twists that are cropping up in this series which is probably overburdening it a little.

I don’t have a problem with Juno in a weakened state since she’s been through a lot and it’s understandable.

Anyway, I’ve already posted a sequel so I’ll wait and see what you guys have to say about it.