Avatar Author: John Perkins Hello. I'm John. Please don't make fun of me. Read Bio

I’ve been trapped in this tiny prison for months, with no memory of how I got here, or why. I simply awoke to find myself trapped, alone, unable to remember my name or my past.

The last few weeks I’ve been exercising almost constantly, building my strength for an inevitable escape. It seems foolhardy to attempt before I’ve learned more about my captors or who I am; however, I’ve grown weary of this tiny cell and feel an innate urge to break free.

A light creeps in… shattering the darkness. This is it.

I claw my way towards the light, kicking and screaming. The bright white of the room temporarily blinds me as I’m immediately apprehended. I catch a glimpse of his face, but he’s wearing a mask. I paw at it to get a clear image of the man I’m destined to kill if he tries to put me back into that dark prison.

I hear a smattering of voices around me as I’m passed around the room. Eventually I’m in the arms of a crying woman. I see the love through her tear-strained eyes, and know that I’m finally home again.

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Comments (8 so far!)

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  1. Avatar kaellinn18

    Welcome back!

    Part of this reads like what I think Stewie from Family Guy would write of his birth experience. Good stuff!

  2. Avatar Krulltar

    Interesting view from the baby’s perspective. I think Stewie would have fashioned a whip out of the umbilical cord.

  3. Avatar John Perkins

    Totally had Stewie in mind as I wrote this. It’s not completely fashioned after him, but it’s definitely got a hint of the Bertram/Stewie thing going on.

    Funny how when I read this again a few hours later it’s terrible. When I was writing it I really thought it was pretty good, and now… it’s definitely not. I’m going to blame it on the 180+ characters I had to remove to get it down to 1,024 though.

  4. Avatar Oy

    Haha, It took me a couple read-throughs to get it, but that could just be me reading it too quickly. At first I thought it was some kind of animal…

  5. Avatar Browncoatben

    What the Deuce!!!

    I totally thought Stewie as soon as I realized it was a baby being born!

    Really nice stuff John! So fun to be a part of this environment again!

  6. Avatar Mostly Harmless

    This is really good, clearly the twist makes it – the idea of birth being escape is certainly original, and it gave this piece the elusive ‘even-better-second-time-through’ factor which is tough…

    Good work here – the further adventures of The Escapee could make for interesting sequels! MH :)

  7. Avatar Andy G {L.O.E.M.A.T.T.L.O.A.}

    very good. Spookily the episode of family guy where stewie fights bertram is on as I write this. Spooky!

  8. Avatar Ridcully Calvert

    Wow John, you really led me down the garden path here.

    I was sure that this was some sort of sick horror show, when in reality it was more your common or garden variety horror show (I have been to two c-sections, I know) :-D

    Very well done