A Bittersweet Surprise

Avatar Author: Mostly Harmless {LoA} I have been sired as Mostly Harmless: Vanguard of Vocabulary moste Verbose! My biography needs a spring clean... As always, I am Ed. I've realised that even taking time out of Ficly for revision purposes proves ... Read Bio

“I am afraid Mr Summers, I have no choice – I will arrive within the minute!”

Flaming Hecate!

With an impatient flick of his disheveled hair, the proprietor of the world-famous Triffic Truffles Chocolate Apothecary urgently set about concealing the very equipment that made his truffles quite so triffic.

Just why the Council was sending the Inspector over at all still wasn’t clear to Niall – he was using his talent to make people happy – no dangers, no side effects.

Usually…

Of course there had been the transfiguration debacle early on, and he still needed to balance out the addictive elements in the honeycomb caramels, but he was learning – so what, or who, had put the Council on his back?

He barely managed to levitate the tray of new passion fruit soft-centres into the store before a scented plume of lavender smoke announced the arrival of Mr Drew Cavendish, Illusion Enforcement.

Silently, the tweed-suited man looked around, and sniffed.

“There is cheatery in this eatery!”

View this story's details

Prequels

Oh no! This story doesn't have a prequel. Want to fill in the blanks and write one?

Write a Prequel

Comments (19 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar someday_93

    Well, I just have to get this off my chest: this whole British "no period after Mr, Mrs etc really bugs me…but I’ll get over it =]

    Triffic Truffles made me smile…

    An interesting take on a candy shop, and really well written – I’d like to know more!

  2. Avatar Mr.Gabriel (LoA)

    TOO MANY BIG WORDS.

    But enjoyable, nonetheless.

    And the no period after “Mr or Mrs” is kinda annoying, BUT, it’s a British thing.

  3. Avatar thelostgirl

    I thought it was a British thing to always have a stop after Mr. and Mrs.? Maybe not.

    Anywho, I really, really like this. The last line is fantastic. Made me laugh. I love the style of this piece; there’s lots of little details that bring the whole thing to life like the use of ‘triffic’ instead of ‘terrific’ and the element of magic running throughout.

    It’s like you’ve blended ‘Charlie And The Chocolate Factory’ with ‘Chocolat’ and the entire works of Diana Wynne Jones. And that’s a recipe for success my friend ;) Well done MH

  4. Avatar kaellinn18

    This is a unique story you’ve started. Transfiguring treats? A magical Food and Drug Administration? A possible double cross? Very interesting, indeed.

    The only thing the rubbed me the wrong way a bit was the use of “quite” twice in close proximity. I would suggest either changing the first occurrence to “just” or maybe removing the second usage altogether.

  5. Avatar PJ Deane [[LoA]]

    This is brilliant, and Oh So British. Where are the Toot Sweets?!
    The details are fantastic and really bring us into the story. And I agree the last line truly is fantastic.
    Looking forward to reading more!

  6. Avatar Mostly Harmless {LoA}

    Thanks for the reviews guys, and good spot with the double ‘quite’, I’ve edited… If anybody feels like sequelling, feel free – MH :)

  7. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    i absolutely love the magic Willy Wonka! A hundred pencils for touching my sweet spot!

  8. Avatar Nathaniel Payne

    I sincerely hope Mr. Cavendish is the sort of person to sprinkle rhyming vocabulary into his conversation often, and at will. Because that would be triffic. :)

    Beautiful story, my friend.

  9. Avatar Horrorfan13

    This almost lost me with the language as it is not my usual forte, but I do like the story it is portraying. I would really like to see where this is going. A neat spin! This reminds of Willie Wonka but in the future!!

  10. Avatar Catherine

    I really like the way this story is written, of course this was also about candy so it made it all the more enjoyable.
    The last line is wonderful!

  11. Avatar cthulhuburger

    A fantastic story! I sincerely hope this becomes featured.

  12. Avatar JLaughter001

    I’m a little with Horrorfan…the language in this is a little hard to follow, but that last line made me laugh. Still an interesting read, as I’m growing to expect from you MH.

  13. Avatar John Perkins

    I sense someone is a Pushing Daisies fan. It has that same lighthearted feel, and the narrator has a very similar voice.

    Fun read, almost poetic, which I imagine was the point.

  14. Avatar Gradual Uprising {LoA}

    You know, this was the first ficly I ever read. Before I got my account and could comment, so I went around on ficly trying to find it. (I even searched triffic in the search engine) But couldn’t find it. And then I found it by chance after viewing your profile. Thanks for making me want to join ficly.

  15. Avatar Anonymous writer

    This is really good Ed (:

  16. Avatar Mostly Harmless {LoA}

    Grad-Up, that is quite the compliment! It also shows me that I should probably add tags to my stories but I’m far too lazy…!

    Glad y’all enjoyed it… MH :)

  17. Avatar Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)

    wow you really do have the skills of a madman with a key board. You are something else.

  18. Avatar Marli

    The last sentence got me. I am a fan of playing with words. Reminds me a bit of “Harry Potter” or at least “Artemis Fowl.”

  19. Avatar Abby Wall (LoA)

    That.is.brilliant. I love the rhyming in the last line. Very funny….
    Nice write
    Abby x