indecent exposure

Avatar Author: Concerned Reader I ain't a writer right now, and I probably wont be one in the future, but I sure as hell enjoy the act of writing. I've only just started writing in the past few years, and even then have only produced short stories and s... Read Bio

Putting on your best cop face, and quickly fashioning a badge out of a paperclip, sticky note, and sharpie, you approach the inebriated shark.

“Excuse me sir,” you say, “I’m going to have to ask you to come with me.”

The shark slowly turns to face you, you can see he’s totally torqued. “Wha’d I do?”

“I’m going to have to charge you for indecent exposure and public intoxication.”

He turns to face you completely, giving you a full frontal view. “Whaaaa?” He replies.

“Sir, I can clearly see your claspers. There are children in this volcano. Please come with me. We’ll get you some clothes and an aspirin.”

You can:

1) Stay true to your word and let him crash at your place.
2) Just leave him in a confused huddle.
3) take him to the hottest bar in town and try to pick up females.

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Comments (9 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Concerned Reader

    Do I need a mature tag for writing about a sharks claspers?

  2. Avatar The Third Robot

    Hahaha. No, I think you’re good.

    I like the way this is going though…

  3. Avatar Concerned Reader

    Me too! I hope that Sue the shark can pick up a female!

  4. Avatar H.S. Wift

    Where did this paper clip, sticky note and sharpie come from?!? I thought we only had some cheese, string and a tele-porter!

  5. Avatar Concerned Reader

    It came from the teleporter.

  6. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Claspers? That was just funny. I think was the most well crafted of this absurd series.

  7. Avatar Concerned Reader

    I carefully research before each piece I write (Which means I hit up wikipedia):

    Thanks for the compliment! I’m looking forward to where this is going.

  8. Avatar Kay-Teaze

    I laughed out loud, thank you for that… and I liked the MacGyver’d badge. I think I may attempt a sequel….

  9. Avatar The Third Robot

    Do it! You get bonus marks for ridiculousness, distributed by THX.

    (It hath been decreed that THX be holy judicator of absurdity)

Inspired by

Thinking that the most interesting possible option includes a drunk shark you immediately jump off a cliff. Thankfully, the cliff was mere me...

Jump Off a Cliff by The Third Robot

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