What do I think of Halloween?

You people think I love it when you dress your snot-nosed kids up like me. You think I get a kick out of watching some kid tripping over his laces wearing a plastic mask he can’t even see out of? I designed that mask to make people scared of me. Bad people. You think muggers are bad? There are crazy motherfuckers out there building things that would melt the whole planet. I’ve been shot more than all those rappers kids these days listen to put together. You know how many times I’ve flatlined? You could run a city block with the volts they’ve pumped through me after close calls with psychos who juice themselves up or build death rays. This suit isn’t here to look cool. It’s here to strike dread. Real, old fashioned, piss-yourself-in-the-dark dread.

So rather than telling me to clean up, shave that stubble, and put the bottle down, how about you have some fucking respect? I do what I do so you won’t have to. And I seriously doubt you could lift a bus.

You have me for that.