Unexpected Changes

Avatar Author: scratch'n'scrawl An Aussie infatuated, no, obsessed with spreading his artistic wings and creating whenever possible, is enjoying taking on the challenge of trying to hold a pen and write interesting stories...with wings. Read Bio

He couldn’t remember much of the accident. He remembered it had been a long day. Then he remembered the pain, and the car feeling like it was sideways. He found it weird that it was night, as he’d been driving in the afternoon. He must’ve dozed off.

The ambos told him he was in a deep crevasse, and it was still daylight. Their voices sounded laboured, as if they were working hard, or had worked hard already. Or maybe it was both. His eyesight must be affected, they told him, but he should be happy he was still breathing, as they hadn’t expected to find life.

After the metal-tearing sounds stopped he felt a harness put under his arms. It was soft, and could’ve been lamb’s wool, but that was never this soft. A voice called out that they were ready to go. For a couple of seconds there was a grinding sound before he felt a soft jolt pulling at the front of the harness, dragging him upwards.

Then the pain. It had dulled while the men had worked, and now it shot through his entire body like never before…

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Comments (5 so far!)

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  1. Avatar gĀ²LaPianistaIrlandesa

    Ooh, interesting. That last line made me cringe a bit, nicely done.

    Thanks for entering!

  2. Avatar OrangeOreos (LoA)

    Ouch. cringes That was a very painful ficly to read, which, if you ask me, is a good thing. It definitely got the point across!

  3. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    great job capturing what he hears and feels physically during this ordeal!

  4. Avatar Ana Cristina

    Great imagery in this one. You really pull the reader into the moment here, like Orange says.

  5. Avatar jesteram

    The sound of metal tearing—as opposed to just breaking or snapping—is such an ear-twisting descriptor. Also, crevasse. What a great word.

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