Don't Quit your day job.

Avatar Author: The Full Metal Chicken Seriously I can only write 1024 here too. Well I've been writing for myself and others for a few years now and always seemed to either write too much or too little to make any kind of format work correctly. And when I... Read Bio

The wizard walked up to the door and hit it a few times with his staff. Nothing.
He gave it a small push with his hand – still nothing. But, you have to check. Few things are worse than spending hours casting all kinds of spells only to find out that the door is not locked. That happens to more wizards then they would like to admit.

This was a new door, the wood was no more than a year old. He could feel the freshness of the spells, powerful ones too; this could take weeks.

The wizard sat down in front of the door with his left hand out. He imbued the door with just a bit of magic, not a lot, but just enough to get the life back into the wood.

He lit his pipe, and began…“So are you happy being a door?”

Two hours later a very angry door was lumbering down a snow covered hill with murder in its heart.

“A door!” it thought “Of all the wonderful things I could have been. A chair for royalty, a table where friends and family meet and feast, a door to protect people and give them…. SON OF A BITCH!”

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Comments (5 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar J. A. Keane

    Very irreverant take on fantasy norms. I love the details about how even wizards make stupid mistakes, and how a door can be so angry about being a door in the first place.
    Creative, witty, and positively brilliant!
    Loved it.

  2. Avatar Krulltar

    Completely over the top good!

  3. Avatar RoseTone ~LoA~

    Holy mackerel…..

  4. Avatar Jae

    I was immediately put in mind of the butler in Windwaker -

    “I’ve just realized my sad existence as a door…”

    I could not help but grin at the door’s reaction when it realized it had been duped.

  5. Avatar MrJuggles

    Brillant, wonderfully silly but a fantastic image. I especially liked the bit about making sure the door was actually locked.

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