The Full Metal Chicken

Joined February 2010 and calls full metal chicken eggs home.

20 stories, 0 challenges, 17 comments, and 23 friends

Seriously I can only write 1024 here too.

Well I’ve been writing for myself and others for a few years now and always seemed to either write too much or too little to make any kind of format work correctly. And when I found out about Ficly (Thank you Wil Wheaton) It seemed perfect. 4 stories in and 10 drafts in the works I know it is.

Most of my stuff is badly written I know that. But the idea’s are right.

I’ve found an editor to wrangle the words in with all the right punctuation. But proofreading and the other things that I never learned after years of English class I have yet to fix or find someone who can either keep up with my work pace or treat my babies (writing) with the right mix of punishment and respect.

I write what makes me laugh and generally only put an hour into each piece. Never expect greatness from my work just something funny or something to put a smile on your face. I write for fun never to offend.

Thank you and please enjoy.

PS I’m keeping these last 3 characters for my own HA.


  1. An optimist best defined. (Mature)

  2. My Grandma

    As I was watching my grandma slowly walk down to her basement using not only her cane but all the hand rails my grandpa had to install, I realized she could still kick the Bogeyman’s ass.

  3. I wish I would have worked in Halflings

    As he stood upon the idling Mac truck, his sword-wand Stab-Caster in hand, Prince Adam Fire-Blade III surveyed his forces, which his grandfather had spent years building. Thankfully, his grandfather had died and there was just his father to go. From th...

  4. The Real Victor

    With each fall of the sword, the beast’s insides became more visible but no blood fell. With a great clang, the beast dropped his weapon. The beast collapsed, and with one mighty slash, the beast’s chest was open. The sword fell length-wise int...

  5. In a dark cave.

    “I don’t know which gods brought us to this spot, but I swear – If you don’t kill me Monster, I will leave such a mark upon your being that you will never forget this fight. Now take out your weapon beast, and pray that you have mor...

  6. Just One of Many. [Secret Fantasy] (Mature)

  7. Just One of Many. [Secret Fantasy] (Mature)

  8. Where I belong. (Mature)

  9. Don't Quit your day job.

    The wizard walked up to the door and hit it a few times with his staff. Nothing. He gave it a small push with his hand – still nothing. But, you have to check. Few things are worse than spending hours casting all kinds of spells only to find out tha...

  10. The real difference between the sexes (Mature)

  11. Saved by the Priest. (Mature)

  12. Use the stick as a harpoon anyways

    You grab the stick and yell “Nobody bites my rocks.” and stab the shark, right in the fin pit. Grape jelly and you know those small chocolate eggs you get at Christmas for some reason start flowing out of the sharks wound. You can Make your...

  13. Handle with care. (Mature)

  14. Will always get through! (Mature)

  15. IBard, [Shakespeare In Code]

    Dim ToBe as Boolean = Question If (IBe = ToBe) Then Life.run if (SeaOfTroubles> OutragFortune, Nobler = _ SeaOfTroubles, Nobler = OutragFortune) ToDie = ToSleep End If Dim Life as Object = HeartAche + (1000 * NaturalShocks) Life.Inherits(Pain) Run ...

  16. Even they need a general meeting I imagine.

    General crowd noise “Morning Sam” “Morning Ralph” “So how’s everything on your side of the floor” “Good! Workplace injuries are down, speed is up, the ideas flying around seem good, and the new pups are reall...

  17. We are just going to have to make due.

    In a small farming town, a young man stands outside his father’s den. He takes a few deep breaths – he has to do this. He’s heard other people’s stories, both good and bad; the talk went okay with momma, but daddy still has to know. The den...

  18. Worth Every Penny

    Sitting by the roadside … still picking glass out of my hair … I wonder what will happen next. I’d called … who will they send … what questions will they ask? Then, head lights … an older women. She walks up to me, asks what...

  19. Neither snow, nor rain, nor hail of bullets.

    A squad of uniformed men enters hanger A. The ordered chaos that is mech armor maintenance causes men to run back and forth with tools, ammo and spare parts. The sounds of heavy foot-falls and air tools make up the main rhythm; far-off bombs are backup...

  20. It's the waiting

    The cans land on the curb, waiting to be picked up in the morning, the man hears the foot steps behind him. Click and the soft “shhh,” as butane is ignited, a cigar is lit. “Good evening.” “Hello” The man stands between the homeowner and ho...

The Full Metal Chicken's Friends (23)

  • Mostly Harmless
  • Krulltar
  • kaellinn18
  • Mr.Gabriel
  • Anonymuncule
  • DoItForScience
  • Lady Bug
  • ParadiseLost
  • Keith
  • Abby (LoA)
  • Bob Liddil
  • iLive The Avant-Garde Way
  • threedot
  • Hot_Dog_Stories (LoA)
  • J. Rein B.
  • Textual Phoenix
  • Gurth
  • H.S. Wift
  • ElshaHawk (LoA)
  • Kay-Teaze
  • itsElisey
  • i, Coomber

The Full Metal Chicken's Followers (13)

  • i, Coomber
  • Anonymuncule
  • The Third Robot
  • kaellinn18
  • Mostly Harmless
  • Kay-Teaze
  • Jim Stitzel
  • Sam Ervin
  • James P Anderson
  • Krulltar
  • iLive The Avant-Garde Way
  • J. A. Keane
  • Jack Anderson Keane