Unforeseen Consequences

Avatar Author: HSAR Master of the Armory and Chief Nibmaker of Our Strange and Wonderful House. It's a pleasure to meet you. Like many others in this community, I have no qualifications for writing except a head full of ideas and a passio... Read Bio

“The saboteur… my God, I’m so stupid. It was… I was… oh -”
Security Chief Furlough grabbed me firmly by the shoulders and shook me.
“Snap out of it, carto. Where is he?”
“Must’ve hopped aboard, just before the YvsDel jump.”
“Your record breaker? Why?”
“It was a tight jump, the arrays were at full and the security was down. He must have latched on physically. I was the most immersed in the system, so…”
The Chief shook me again.
“Tell me, now!”
“I… the saboteur is me. He’s in my implants.”
As soon as I said it, I knew I’d hit the nail on the head because I felt a twinge at the back of my mind and before I knew it, Furlough’s gun appeared in my hand. My eyes widened in shock but I was unable to drop the gun.
“Carto, kid, drop the gun. Somebody is going to get hurt.”
I shook my head fearfully, trying to get him to understand that I wasn’t in control. My finger started tensing and I shouted against the force.
“Stop me!”
Furlough got the message and smashed me to the floor, darkness swallowing me whole.

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  1. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Well, I didn’t see that coming. One heck of a sci-fi twist that takes it in entirely different directions. Cool job on that point, and I kind like that our semi-narcissistic character in terms of his carto duties is so easily dropped by the security forces guy. It’s shaming for him, but a relief, and it just fits realistically into the schema.

  2. Avatar HSAR

    I’m kind of surprised you didn’t expect this, because I really got the feeling you were trying to tell me to do something dramatic in “Family, Chaos, and Realisations”, and this was what I thought you implied.

    Still, I’m really glad you like it!

  3. Avatar Luke Nicolaou

    Wow :D I love this!! I really wish the word limit was higher, because the big reveal seemed a little rushed, but you can’t really do much about that. I think you executed this perfectly Sam!

  4. Avatar N. Robertson

    This is epic. Good pacing, too.

  5. Avatar Jason Month

    I know this wasn’t necessarily the intent when you wrote the other stories, but I really like the way this ties in with his “streaming consciousness” style of doing… whatever it is that he does. He’s not really thinking about anything, just spewing code like you or I would breathe, and which gives his technological stowaway a scary sense or realism. How many times have you been doing something for a long time without thinking, only to realize where we are without knowing how you got there?

  6. Avatar Jim Stitzel

    Consider yourself sequeled. This series is too good not to continue. I just hope my sequel does it justice. :)

Inspired by

With a nod and a worried look, Gefel from swing shift sat at the adjacent com station. Within a minute, Largo from night shift was to my left...

Family, Chaos, and Realizations by THX 0477