Ready

Avatar Author: Lady Venuquin Still fragile. Still compassionate. Still hopeful. Read Bio

“Hurry up Sarah, we’re gonna be late!” James called from the bottom of the stairs.

“I’m coming, go put Jacob in the car and I’ll be down in a sec.” Sarah replied.

Below her Sarah heard her husband’s footsteps on the stairs and her son’s never-ending chatter slowly fade away.

Smiling softly she carefully placed her favourite black stilettos on her feet and checked her reflection in the mirror. The new forest green dress complemented her body perfectly, her mahogany hair was flawless and her deep brown eyes gleamed. Tonight was going to be a good night.

Slowly the bedroom door swung open and James appeared, wearing a crisp black suit and an impatient expression on his face. With another quick glance at her reflection Sarah got up and turned towards the door. As she passed her husband she trailed her hand along his back, which in a marriage as old as theirs, passed for an embrace.

With her head held high, Sarah prepared for the night that was to come.

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Comments (3 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Robert Quick

    Interesting. You have created characters that embody a lot of life’s contradictions that make me want to know more. That being said, Sarah’s description ends on a double brown note which throws me off balance a little when I’m reading. I’m not sure if the hair and eyes should be compared or contrasted but I think that they should be more interconnected. Other than that, I think this is well written and a good opening for whatever you have planned next (or whoever picks it up). Cheers!

  2. Avatar Mostly Harmless

    I like parts of this a lot – the body language in the relationship between James and Sarah, the closing line which gave me such a strong image of Sarah as this proud, protective matriarch…

    I’m not sure whether the fourth paragraph did it for me – the description about placing stilettos on her feet seemed a little awkward, and the physical description was well-written but not as intriguing or suggestive of character as the rest of the piece…

    My only typo spot was ‘bellow’ in the third paragraph, which should be ‘below’.

    Good work, I’ll keep an eye out to see if this goes anywhere – or write a sequel myself! MH :)

  3. Avatar Mr.Gabriel

    This was really cute. I liked the relationship, and the use of stilettos.

    My own little problem is that, why is she wearing black stilettos with a green dress?! D: HAS SHE NO SHAME. Unless of course that green dress had some black.

    Anyway, lovely. :D