You'd love it, you know you would...

Avatar Author: scratch'n'scrawl An Aussie infatuated, no, obsessed with spreading his artistic wings and creating whenever possible, is enjoying taking on the challenge of trying to hold a pen and write interesting stories...with wings. Read Bio

Dear Rhonda,
You’ll probably screw this up before you even read it, but I miss you, and I’ve no-one else to write to.
For 27 years we came here, Harold’s B&B in Atlantic City, for July 4 weekend. From our first year of marriage ‘til last year. We always loved the sand between our toes as we held hands and walked along the beach. And sometimes we even won some money at Caesar’s.
Billy asked after you as I ordered one of his magnificent hot dogs yesterday. You could never believe how good they were, remember? And Stan was surprised to see me alone when I rode the rollercoaster on Pier 43. I couldn’t not stop by to see Frank and Sally, as we’ve known them for years now, and they were sad you weren’t with me too.
With so many great memories from this time of year, there was no way I could keep myself from here, even if you weren’t with me.
I kind of hope you’ll get this and wish you were here with me instead of with Roger.

The clunk as the screwed-up letter hit the bottom of the bin tore my heart out.

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Comments (7 so far!)

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  1. Avatar I Am Not Number!

    Dude, I could not have felt more sorry for him if his hotdog had been knocked over on the way to the beach. +3 pens for being sneaky and holding back so’s the empathy hit you in the arse on the way out, +2 pens for dealing with his insanely masochistic grieving sensitively, -1 pen for being a miserable bastard.

  2. Avatar Emilou

    I feel bad for the poor guy. Wonder why she’s with Rodger instead… Good job describing the surroundings.

  3. Avatar Passionsocks

    I too want too want to hear her side of things. I enjoyed it.

  4. Avatar southsideof10

    Enjoyed this greatly. Wonderful payoff at the end. I figured she was dead and he was having trouble letting her go. I am unclear about the bin though. Was that him throwing the letter away before sending it or her throwing it away after receiving it? I kinda think it’s the former as he would have no way of knowing that the letter hit the bin if she was the one tossing it out.

  5. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    so true, southside, however we could take the italics to be her reading it, in which case she is sad to see it go, but its over. I read it from his POV though, as if he were watching her from behind something, unnoticed. So she threw it away. I hadn’t thought about him throwing it away until the comment.
    The story is very emotional, pulls at the heartstrings. Deserving of the pencils.

  6. Avatar Hobohemian

    The ending really hits hard. Wow.

  7. Avatar scratch'n'scrawl

    I can see from the timing of all of the comments here that it has been far too long since I’ve visited Ficley. Thanks so much for your insightful comments and discussions. My aim was the italics representing him writing it out and then throwing it away before posting it, but ElshaHawk’s perspective works also. Does the ambiguity of POV make it a better write? Somehow, I think not, but I’m often terribly hard on myself to be as perfect as I can. Thanks again for the comments, and all of the lovely pencils too!