Old Joe did so love being an American. He had flags on his truck, flags on his house, everywhere. And he was a hard worker, never without his beloved tools, his hammers, his screwdrivers, his box of wrenches. One for each size.

But he also liked his whiskey, he liked to smoke cigars, and he liked to play with matches; Not a good thing in a gas line repairman’s job.

It was right outside the Yankee Doodle bar, just near downtown, when it all caught up with him. Blew a huge crater and the whole building, bar, stools, taps, liquor, it all slid into the hole, crushing whatever was left down there.

It took awhile to clear out all the mess, and I’m sorry to say, of patriotic old Joe, all we found was only this one of his treasured tools.

Yes, it’s true. All we have to remember of Old Joe is a bar-mangled spanner.