Avatar Author: OrangeOreos (LoA) So I figure I should fill this box in, because otherwise my profile page promised to cry in despair. The name's Orange, OrangeOreos. I'm from a now-extinct organization known as Ficlets. I haven't written much since th... Read Bio

It was everywhere.

This was the last straw.

No more would this idiotic figure be present in the human race! No more! I would obliterate it! It would no longer haunt me on every single street! It would no longer be a presence in my life, or anyone’s life!

I would hunt every single one down, and kill it in any way possible! If that meant going to the far ends of the earth, killing every baker for inventing the dreaded baker’s dozen, so be it! I would once again be able to eat a freshly-made doughnut!!!

And TV! I hadn’t watched TV a single time since that horrible, horrible nightmare I had about The Count from Sesame Street slowly, ghoulishly counting up from 1, to 2, and then he reached 11, 12… I couldn’t take the chance of him possibly appearing in my living room!

But now, that would change… Oh yes, it would all change…

I would kill those bakers, and The Count! And I would kill every person who uttered the name of that abominable sum!


The number thirteen will DIE!

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Comments (9 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Laine Grey

    Snickers I started reading this because of the title, and found myself laughing out loud. Nicely straddling the fence between utter madness and… oh, wait, that was utter madness.

  2. Avatar The Fantastic Mister Fish

    haha I was always afraid of the count myself

  3. Avatar invisibility_disability

    Denise would be upset. It’s her favorite number.

  4. Avatar gĀ²LaPianistaIrlandesa

    This was a most amusing rant. Personally, I like that number, doce y uno.
    That’s not what it actually is in spanish, but I wanted to circumvent actually saying the word.
    I’ll just… go over here now…

  5. Avatar Music-Hearted

    Hahaha. This is funny, but I have something to admit… I have a particular fondness for both the Count and the number.

    Maybe I’ll join g2 in just… going away… ahem.

  6. Avatar John Perkins

    The protagonist uttered the sum, and will now have to commit suicide. Coincidentally, the phrase “commit suicide” has 13 letters. Freaky!

  7. Avatar OrangeOreos (LoA)

    Hah! I never realized “commit suicide” had 13…. New factoid of the day!

  8. Avatar Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)

    My dear you have gone BATTY. I love it don’t come back stay batty.

  9. Avatar Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)

    random story button at the bottom

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