Very heartfelt with a nice pace – you deal with the reveal that this is a father being spoken about well also…

After you use ellipses, I think capitalising would tidy this up a little, and there are a couple of other little things – ‘would have’ not ‘would of’ in the third paragraph!

Still, it does what it says in the tags – personal and concise, emotional but not overly melodramatic – good! MH :)

Thanks! Yeah, I tried to add the ‘father’ in quite subtly :) Iv’e changed what you mentioned :D Thanks :’)