Oh, that was sad. I was confused at first, going from assuming it was a kid, then a freakishly small child, then maybe a stuffed animal, and finally a dog. I’m guessing that was intentional, and if so, well done.

Yeah i was taken from child, to small younger child, and finally to kitten. What a twist ending to realize that this was a cute kitty (or puppy if you think fluffy is a dog’s name) instead of a stoic and traumatized child.

comma after screeching.
also, forgot to mention that this line “Her hair was wet and nappy with crusty putrid locks twisted in knots; smelling like rot.” is not only awesome, it is poetic and rhythmic.

I appreciate the comments and that my story made you sad.

I put the comma where it should have been.

Fluffy and I thank you.

I love how there are tiny lines within sentences (that just gets me).
Especially crusty putrid locks twisted in knots; smelling like rot.

But there is a confusion as to what the protagonist exactly is, made more confusing by the fact that it’s wearing a nappy and that she went to hospital rather than a vet. Obviously that’s to give the reader a bigger shot from the stun gun at the end but I’m a stickler for accuracy in these tiny things so it unfortunately bothers me.

Other than that it’s written ebautifully and the descriptions are truly delightful.