Harry Ficly
Harry Potter was just a normal boy, with parents who made him sleep under the stairs.
 Just a normal boy, with a scar on his head shaped like a lightning bolt. But, just a normal boy. I swear.
 Then, one day, a shitload of owls start dropping stuff into his house. Hey, why not? 
 So, get this, these idiots move into a house in the middle of a fuckin ocean. How would they even get food?!
 And then some giant or something, I can’t remember, breaks his house down and steals the kid.
 Then this huge ass giant takes him to train station, where a bunch of people are running into a wall.
 Then a whole bunch of magic chit happens…. or something…..