The Cost Of Doing Business

Avatar Author: Radical Yellow Duck Ok, I'm back. One heart attack, a triple CABG (Coronary Artery Bypass Graft, pronounced cabbage) and two sessions of beating my computer into submission. I am back. I'm old. Real old. I'm so old I remember when dial... Read Bio

Bob swerved into the left lane cutting off another car. The horn behind him sounded and the headlights flashed. Stamping on the gas he accelerated until he was six inches from the bumper of the car in front of him. A quick glance to the right and he swerved again, making his box truck lurch and sway as he passed the car on the right. He had been driving like this for the past ten miles. It was almost time to get off the highway before the cops found him.

And so long as he stayed on the ragged end of control, no one should get hurt. So long as he was clever. So long as no one else did anything stupid. So long as…

The flashing lights came on and he saw the sheriffs car pulling up behind him. It was good while it lasted. Driving like a maniac. Getting everyone so pissed at him as he drove.

And the bumper sticker of “How’s my driving? Call 900-555-3344” connected to an off shore phone that charged 50 dollars a minute.

Well the ticket was going to be just the cost of doing business.

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Comments (7 so far!)

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  1. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    imagining all manner of things he could be hauling.. though i realize his erratic driving was just so people would call the number to complain.. good thing i’ve never dialed that number!

  2. Avatar smdasilva {LoA}

    I was also wondering what kind of contraband or dead bodies were in the vehicle. Thanks for entering!

  3. Avatar Kihd

    Haha! I always wondered what the toll was on those calls, and why anybody would insist on a report of their driving. What a great story.

  4. Avatar Abstract

    ROFL! Especially if he put them on hold for an hour or so, playing all the while that really stupid-sounding bland jazz, with a “Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line” every once in awhile.

  5. Avatar Sanglorian

    I didn’t realise that the reckless driving was a way of making money; I just thought he enjoyed reckless driving and screwing over those he drove past.

    But I read the comments and the cleverness of the story became clear to me.

  6. Avatar thebetweenspace

    Brilliant idea. I once called the number on the back of a semi that was driving too slow. Glad I didn’t rack up a bill.

  7. Avatar D.E DeWitt

    Great piece. It made me chuckle. Shrewd business men are always interesting.

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