Transcopernican rift (technobabble challenge)

Avatar Author: ethelthefrog Arms, legs, the usual. I value feedback, so feel free to rate my stories with a 1 or a 2. I only ask that you tell me why when you do so, so I can make my next story better. Read Bio

“Sir, we’re getting a graviton flux! It’s distorting the warp correlators. Initiating emergency transporter shut-down.” The young lieutenant seemed not to be taking the stress too well.

“Well, Christine, we are heading through the Cygnus Rift at warp 7. What the hell was the transporter doing online anyway?” The Chief Engineer checked the OCD panels with a worried frown, noting instability in the plasma conduit that was probably caused by feedback oscillations from the transport initiator circuit.

“Achilles wanted another hundred Higgs modulators and a fermion transducer.”

“And they wanted them so badly that it was OK to risk opening a trans-copernican rift that will produce enough subspace shear to tear the ship apart?”

“Captain Webster was most insistent. He said something about Earl Grey.”

“Warning. Antimatter containment fluctuating,” interjected the computer’s silky voice, with infinite calm.

The engineer hit the intercom. “Captain, she’s going to blow.”

“Remodulate something, Geordi.”

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Comments (10 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar Daniel

    This feels like you were holding in a guffaw all the way through and then on the last line you just couldn’t help but bray like a mad donkey on amphetamines.

    Not sure if that’s what you were aiming for, but it made me snicker.

  2. Avatar dkscully

    Sloppily written parody.

    I can see where you’re coming from, but it just feel like you’re regurgitating bits of script verbatim.

    Lazy writing. Must try harder.

  3. Avatar ethelthefrog

    I utterly hate technobabble. It gets in the way of storytelling and there are plenty of fine stories that get along fine without it.

    With this one, I was cocking my snook at Trek in particular, but BS in general.

    A well-deserved one out of five, I feel.

    Also, I got two rifts in three paragraphs. EREPETITION.

  4. Avatar Spiderj

    One of my favourite last lines of anything I’ve read on here.

    Superb entry.

  5. Avatar Spiderj

    Surely I’m not the only one laughing? Perhaps comes from having watched the new Star Trek so recently and thinking there was no science behind the fiction.

  6. Avatar ethelthefrog

    Spiderj, don’t worry about dkscully and Daniel’s comments. They are good friends of mine and I’m chatting with them in another window. I dared them to give me a 1, which they duly did, with no hard feelings.

    In truth, this is a rubbish piece of writing, but it serves to illustrate the point quite nicely, I feel.

  7. Avatar Spiderj

    ! The sense of the situation becomes clear to me.

    The ‘something’ in the last line is perfectly placed. I shall now depart.

  8. Avatar ethelthefrog

    Having said all that, I did intend it to be funny. I am glad you liked it.

  9. Avatar Textual Phoenix

    As a long time fan of Star Trek (and sci-fi in general), I love this! You’ve definitely got the “pulling out of my (insert appropriate orifice here)” feel that I sometimes get watching ST, especially TNG. Nice one!

  10. Avatar N555champ & X-Ninja

    Nice. IT felt like it was pulled straight out of Star Trek. The funny thing is, i haven’t even seen the new movie yet. HAahaha *

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