Amj Author: Lone Writer "Life is an endless parade of stupidity, with no rain in sight." -Lone Writer _Proud Member of the League of Awesomeness!_ *Captiness of the High Seas of Awesomeness* ~!@!@#@$@%$!~ *SERIES I'M IN:* *Welcome T... Read Bio

“Where have you taken him?” She demanded furiously, the expression almost laughable on her petite face.

“Not where we’re taking you.” The man sneered at her, the scar just by his mouth twisting.

“Let go of me!” She screamed, “Leave me alone! He’s more powerful than you, he’ll escape again!”

The man just laughed at her. “With the drugs we’ve given him, he’ll be lucky to even know who you are.”

“No,” She started to tremble, tears leaking from her eyes. “He’ll remember.

“Sure he will,” He replied sarcastically, dragging her out into the alley. She kicked and struggled but he was too big for her. He threw her in the back of the van with the others. “Take care of her boys.”

The men in the back of the van grabbed her roughly and duct taped her hands, feet and mouth.

“Gently,” One of the others said. “She’s just a girl.”

“Shaddup, David!” Another yelled. “You were always a softie. Just do your job and be quiet.”

The girl glowered at them from her position on the floor.

View this story's details



Comments (5 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Very quick and exciting, so a fun read even though I haven’t read anything else in the series and have no idea what’s going on. I was extra confused in the second statement, until I figured out you’d missed an apostrophe.

  2. Amj Lone Writer

    Oh wow. That’s just plain and dandy. I’ll fix that!

  3. Avatar gĀ²LaPianistaIrlandesa

    For a split second the sudden change from first to third person was a tad jarring, but then I fell back into the groove. A new perspective is always interesting… and you’ve opened up new opportunities about our captive original narrator, almost making him sound demonic somehow…

  4. Avatar Proctagon

    Your story’s a sort of cliche, but I’ll forgive that because it seems to advance the plot of a larger story.

    I would avoid setting off dialogue with “she x-ed” or “she said x-ingly”, it seems amateur. Instead, try describing your characters. Tell how her face changes when she’s furious, for example.

  5. Avatar Sam Ervin

    Good storytelling.

    This gives me something to talk about, anyway. I was losing interest in this story arc.

    (also, “duck tape” should be “duct tape”)

Inspired by

They took me away. I’ve left. Gone away. Disappeared. Vanished. I’m no longer where I was, I’m in a new place. I’m st...

I Can't Stop Myself by Sam Ervin