Sam Ervin

Joined June 2009.

88 stories, 11 challenges, 390 comments, and 219 friends

The pen is mightier than the sword. How outdated. In the 1900’s, it would have been, “The typewriter is mightier than the machine gun.” But in modern times? “The word processor is mightier than the particle-beam weapon.”

I play video games, build things with Legos, and try to kid myself into thinking that I’m mature. I love dorking around with computers and I have a strange obsession with hats – nice ones, that is, no baseball caps. My dream is to either become a Masterbuilder or a drummer, and neither seem very close. Such is life.

Since joining Ficly, I’ve come to realize that I love playing off of other people’s work, reshaping their ideas to form some coherent things. Half my stories come either from challenges or from hitting the “Random Story” button and writing a sequel (I highly recommend this, the things that you’ll find are amazing!).


  1. Terrible Sounds

    Waking up, I found myself roped to a bed, butt naked in a white room. I looked around. One white door, pulled apart from the wall only by a tiny seam. No windows. A few slats in the ceiling, presumably for ventilation. The restraints made me nervous. I...

  2. endless-er puzzle

    but the match is always there puzzles don’t break on their own. you may never meet your other but the existence is true. besides, you can force them together a little imagination goes a long way. you can stretch, they can bend and you’ve cr...

  3. The hell with the final boarding call!

    The hell with that! I saw a show on Discovery about this once. I bet I can maneuver out of these chains… … or not. Fuck! The vultures are descending, flying closer and closer… screw you guys! I’m jumping up and down, yelling for...

  4. #WAKEUP not called

    “What the hell is this?” Jessica stared at the lines printing to the screen. She’d been asked to install the latest operating system on the college network, but she had no idea it’d be this much of a nightmare. First the install...

  5. School Time Fun

    I’m writing this from school to fill this awful day. I guess history isn’t so bad until it’s time to write the essay.

  6. The endlife

    And I don’t mean “careful” like “as long as you brush your teeth and don’t talk to strangers, you’ll be fine.” No. This is serious business. If you are looking for the end of the world, don’t. They say it...

  7. January 4th

    1493 – Christopher Columbus starts the return home from his journey to the “New World” 1643 – Sir Isaac Newton, English mathematician and philosopher, is born 1809 – Louis Braille, inventor of the Braille reading system fo...

  8. All That I Could Do

    Time to go get things done. Time to go accomplish something. Let’s make a path and make it deep. Burn everything to the ground and start anew. Correct the incorrect, fix the broken, mend the shattered, attach the detached, and generally clean hou...

  9. After-end

    … only a cesspool of imagination, allowing for complete creation of an entire afterlife, removed from the normal constraints of reality? Or perhaps, a limitless plane of nonexistence, allowing only for natural thought to prevail over actual corpo...

  10. Secure secrets?

    My name isn’t known. That’s a secret that some higher power holds. It makes for some awkward questions. But I hardly ever need one. All my needs are taken care of by the government, all my wants donated to me by anonymous parties. It’...

  11. Hyper-Warfare

    The speakers blasted the soldier through the tunnel. Hyper-warfare, the papers were calling it. Sound crushed his helmet like tinfoil, ripped through his uniform like it was Kleenex, and disintegrated his boots like the particle-beam weapon he was carr...

  12. -ake

    This pen in my hand It is like a snake The thoughts in my head Swept around with a rake The paper in front here Is not real; it’s fake And the poem I’m writing Is done like a cake.

  13. Rock and Roll

    My God, it has been a while. I wonder if I’m still welcome. She probably doesn’t even remember me. I cried so many tears in her name, just for her… and I got nothing! Oh, spirit! Whisk me away, carry me back, return me to the life I h...

  14. The Beginning of the War

    Earth was united. It had taken ten years of backbreaking work, powerful speeches, and the occasional threat to make it happen, but happen it had. Every person over the age of 20 who was able to fight was armed and waiting for the signal. The women hand...

  15. I Know This Guy

    I know this guy. He is the most awful person in the world. And he makes me feel like I’m worthless as well. We’ve both been through the shits together and we got caught in the pile. Together. Through bad times he’s been my pebble and ...

  16. Perhaps a Bit Too Self-Critical

    Being an asshole isn’t always fun. _________________________

  17. Expansions

    And ever after pulls on me, pulls in a thousand different directions at once. I am yanked toward a mesmerizing green orb of confusion just as I am pulled toward another abstract concept, solidified in my not-quite-awake mind. The old friend calls out t...

  18. Crate Full of Letters

    The words flow like a river, like a waterfall, like a crate full of letters jumping off the highest cloud and floating gently to the earth on a cool breeze of inspiration The earth slows and stops, waiting for the words to stick, the breeze to shove th...

  19. This! Just! Got! Interesting!

    So I was dreaming about a tiger, and this tiger was eating itself from the tail up, but it kept, like, growing new heads, so it just kept eating itself, but then I woke up, and I told my mom, and she said, “That couldn’t happen,” but ...

  20. Go Ahead and Fall, Then

    Well bitch, you were being mean And clinging the whole time I couldn’t move without sixty questions Or spend more than a freaking dime Mistakes? You said I made plenty From my clothes to my hair to my room And even the slightest screw-up on our d...

  21. Certain Doom

    “Weight!” “Er… 100, 567, 888 pounds, sir.” “What? Why? We double-checked the entire ship’s contents, why are we 120 pounds overweight?” The captain of the USS Omaha glared at the lackey, his stare boring ...

  22. A Rarity

    Third Chairman of RoSecurity, Adam Charvell, sat at his desk, his feet up, his chair leaning back, and his eyes closed. He was thinking about going home early and letting Charlie take care of the preparations when BZZZT. BZZZT. BZZZT. Damnit, he though...

  23. Ozark boat trip

    The boat was floating toward the middle of the lake. This family outing seemed innocent enough because, well, it was. A bunch of guys drinking a few and having a good time impressing their wives (or everyone else’s wives, either way). After we we...

  24. Baked Potato

    “So. We’ve got to push this… thing across town. No cars, no strings, nothing but our bare hands.” “Well, it’s round. That’ll help.” “It’s not… perfectly round though. In fact it’s ...

  25. 8

    I stormed out across the field. The enemy’s fire came down like a hailstorm, piercing the fragile ground, missing my legs and torso by mere inches. We had to get to that hill. I cocked my weapon, pulled back, and fired. The two men behind me did ...

  26. Liberate (Mature)

  27. Tentacles versus Climbers

    The creatures milled about, their tentacles slithering across the marsh like wet spaghetti noodles. Every creature’s lone eye pointed in all directions, checking for threats, checking for friends. Now two creatures found each other. They locked e...

  28. Found

    The alien’s communicator beeped. Radio waves? How primitive. The audio that played through his glove’s speaker was translated automatically. A message of anger, of revenge, of hatred. The newly elected Earth Leader wanted the alien to leave...

  29. Ender's Game in 10 Words

    Genius goes into space, kills buggers, then feels really bad.

  30. The Bible in 10 Words

    “Don’t eat the fruit,” God said. nomnomnom “Curse mankind forever!”

Sam Ervin's Friends (219)

  • Butler
  • dt
  • Miss Molly
  • John Perkins
  • StudMuffin (LoA)
  • Spiderj
  • ElshaHawk (LoA)
  • nesdil
  • Radical Yellow Duck
  • Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)
  • StayGold
  • Eloquent Mess {(LoA)}
  • OrangeOreos (LoA)
  • Kevin Lawver
  • Jason Garber
  • THX 0477
  • Textual Phoenix
  • g²LaPianistaIrlandesa
  • Music-Hearted
  • ♦ Jenunique ♦
  • Violet
  • B. Booth
  • Twyst
  • Bill Hartzia
  • scratch'n'scrawl
  • NinjaChicken
  • RockPaperScissors
  • Abstract
  • Krulltar
  • Pyropunk 51 (PPP LoA)

Sam Ervin's Followers (56)

  • Lone Writer
  • dt
  • Miss Molly
  • tas_13
  • ElshaHawk (LoA)
  • StayGold
  • Not You (LoA)
  • nesdil
  • Textual Phoenix
  • Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)
  • Moonlightgirl
  • Abstract
  • StudMuffin (LoA)
  • Krulltar
  • Horrorfan13
  • Stewart M. Matthews
  • Anonymous writer
  • Ridcully Calvert
  • Breakfast At Jamie's
  • Tillie Turner
  • quipsofthequill
  • The Athiest
  • kaellinn18
  • Abby (LoA)
  • Emmyful
  • Marli
  • Mrs Truthful
  • Mr.Gabriel
  • iLive The Avant-Garde Way
  • D.S. Aly