this seems less driven by the character and more driven by the setting. it’s quite good though, so – maybe not really that applicable to the challenge but noteworthy none the less.

I agree with Mark. Although there is something about the character for sure. I’d love to see what you had in mind to happen next. He seems very brave – the kind of man who doesn’t follow the herd and likes to break out from the rules of oppressors.

It was clever to change from using ‘we’ to ‘I’ … you can almost read the change of mindset that happens in his head as he decides to make a stand.

I don’t think you need the first comma in the first paragraph. Detached sentences would create the sense of sharper thinking. Especially with your use of first person and present tense.

Overall I think you did well to put forward such a detailed and believable scene as well as emphasising the nature of your character. Everyone loves a rebel!

Thanks for entering the challenge. I loved your last line. Sorry for commenting so late.