The Martian Frontier

Avatar Author: ethelthefrog Arms, legs, the usual. I value feedback, so feel free to rate my stories with a 1 or a 2. I only ask that you tell me why when you do so, so I can make my next story better. Read Bio

The suited figure that approached the airlock at Robinson Base could only be one man. Somehow, the stetson perched jauntily on the helmet never looked out of place on him. When the kids played outside, they always just looked silly, but him? How he got his powder to strike at 280 Kelvin in 10 millibars of CO2 remained a mystery.

“Call the governator’s office, Max. I’d best go out to meet him.” The stocky sheriff stood and left the rows of screens of the base’s security office.
“You’re gonna let him in?”
“Not much choice. He could shoot a hole or two in the dome, and I’ve heard stories.”
“Big ten, Zark.”
*
Sheriff Zark stood just inside the inner entry port. Somehow, the stetson remained even after the helmet was gone. “Why are you here, John?”
“A man ought to do what he thinks is right”
“Aw crap.”

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Comments (2 so far!)

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  1. Avatar dkscully

    Well, it’s certainly in space, and you’ve used a bunch of obvious Western tropes… but, for all that, it doesn’t really hang together.

    Also, I’m afraid I really dislike this sentence: How he got his powder to strike at 280 Kelvin in 10 millibars of CO2 remained a mystery.

    You’re slapping your reader around the face with facts, where what I suspect what you wanted to do was offer a humourous nod to the impracticality of a weapon designed for Earth temperatures and pressures in a completely different, and much more hostile environment.

    As it stands, what you’ve done, is break the fictional aspect and point out to your reader why they shouldn’t suspend their disbelief.

  2. Avatar ethelthefrog

    Fair comments. I was hoping to enhance the mystery around this larger-than-life character.

    The only way to improve this piece would be to spend a lot longer on it than I did. The lesson, I guess, is that you get out what you put in…

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