The Things I Do...

Avatar Author: RoseTone ~LoA~ I can be reached at: "For creative Fantasy is founded upon the hard recognition that things are so in the world as it appears in under the sun; on a recognition of fact, but not a slaver... Read Bio

6:08- Alarm clock wins the fight.

6:16- A too-short shower, just cold enough to rinse off the clinging tendrils of sleep.

6:23- Bundled up against the dark morning.

6:25- Car won’t start. #%*@^&!

6:29- Waste 2 minutes searching for gloves, pull bike out of storage.

6:30- Sleet and freezing rain. Lovely.

6:51- Chain my cold bike to the cold bike rack with a cold chain in this cold weather.

6:53- Grocery store opens at 7. Stand in the rain, muttering dark oaths.

7:03- Sleepy punk-rocker associate finally opens the door.

7:04- Pound of coffee in hand, paying in damp cash.

7:05- The key. The key that always hangs on the corner hook in the kitchen. The key that is hanging on the corner hook. The key to my bike lock…

7:06- @#%&!!!!

7:07- Running home. I needed the exercise anyway.

8:10- Fresh mug of french pressed coffee.

8:12- She walks in the door.

7 hours earlier

1:15am- She looks at her paper, then at me.

“I finished it, but I’ll never be able to stay awake in class….”

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Comments (18 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar RoseTone ~LoA~

    It’s not vague, it’s subtle!

    ….aaand I ran out of characters. :P

  2. Avatar Emilou

    Awww…. this story is so cute!! I think the short sentences really add to the mood of the piece. Excellent job setting up the last line. :D

  3. Avatar Stovohobo

    Wonderful first line, and as usual, very evident personal style throughout. I feel like I could identify your poems’ author without seeing it beforehand.

  4. Avatar boxofun

    Haha! That story felt like it took a little while to get to the point, but the ending was very satisfying – and cute, too. Very nicely done!

  5. Avatar Princess Binky Lemontwist (LoA)

    This I found very comical and strangely adorable. Good work! The seven hours earlier part has me scratching my head a little but that’s alright. XD

  6. Avatar ethelthefrog

    I’ve had days like this. I like the conclusion, too. Light hearted presentation and and a warm finish. Like it.

  7. Avatar Shamaliane

    I like that you used ;@#*! instead of actual cuss words, I think it made it more powerful that way. I can see the sleepy punk rocker associate begrudging opening the door, it is a strong image in my mind.

  8. Avatar Abby (LoA)

    Wow I’m slow today. It actually took me some time to work out. Oh dear. Very cute little tale. I think we’ve all had days like those – when everything’s against you, but it’s worth it for the character in the end.

    I enjoyed the use of time. It isn’t often that you see a story in this kind of format.

    “Chain my cold bike to the cold bike rack with a cold chain in this cold weather.” This line made me smile – the bitterness against the cold is great and the repetition really works.

    A great, feel-good piece! I love it =) Another ‘thank you very much’ for this one!

  9. Avatar Jim Stitzel

    Nice piece! This format is a challenge because lists are inherently boring to read. If you’re not careful, you can lose your readers long before the end because their eyes tend to glaze over with the repetitive timestamps. You managed to keep every one interesting and engaging, making the payoff at the end that much more enjoyable.

  10. Avatar Timbertoesa

    I definitely shared this with my friends. Absolutely adorable. It took me a second to work out the ending…but I’m on “midnight-feeding-mama” brain these days, so that was probably my fault. ;) This store was positively endearing.

  11. Avatar Riley

    I totally know this feeling. To an extent, anyways.

    Bloody alarm clocks!

  12. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Took me a while to get, but very cute and sweet once I did.

  13. Avatar Demi Beneke

    This was very sweet. Like the grumble about the cold, know how that feels!

  14. Avatar H.S. Wift

    Ha! This was funny. Jim’s right in that lists can be a challenge, but you bested that by starting with a joke and drawing the reader in. The ending is clear. The speaker is trying to impress the popular girl (b!;(#) at school by doing their home/coursework. There were some really funny lines and I think you are a testament to your craft.

  15. Avatar Scrawler's Secret

    I had more of the impression that the characters were college students and housemates, and that he likes her but is friend-zoned. The girl needs to figure out what she has and hold on to him before its too late. I took the final dialog as the girl saying it rather than the narrator.

  16. Avatar Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars

    Very nice. I like the format.

  17. Avatar Robert Quick

    There is a fair amount of detail to the character that comes across considering it just a list of events. That’s pretty impressive.

  18. Avatar Lastande Sarie

    Absolutely loved this. I wondered why he went to all that trouble just for coffee, until 8:12 am. Then it all made sense.