Room with a View

Avatar Author: dkscully "Stand back! I have a keyboard and I'm not afraid to use it." This site is totally awesome. I really enjoyed (where I went by my alternative handle of kjaneway), and I thought that it was a great shame that... Read Bio

This morning, she woke to blue skies streaked with clouds still slightly pink from the rapidly retreating dawn. A vast panorama of trees showed red, orange and yellow, with the occasional almost startling green. As usual, she spent the last few minutes before her shift started drinking in the vista.

Yesterday, it had been raining and the fog had been so thick that the forest had vanished. Soon, the leaves would tumble, making a spongy red carpet for the brave walker and then there would be snow. Closing her eyes, she imagined the dark skeletons of the slumbering trees standing out against the stark white of the snow and a dull grey sky, pregnant with more. She shivered in her thin overalls, though the room remained as warm as before. She opened her eyes and looked again at the crisp autumn morning before her. Not yet, she thought.

Turning away from the view screen was almost physically painful, as usual. Still, she snagged her cap and left her bunk, heading for the engine room in the bowels of the starship.

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Comments (22 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar ethelthefrog

    Gorgeous descriptions. Utterly gorgeous. You transported me there. I could nearly smell it.

    Then, of course, you snagged me right back out of it again.

    Great stuff.

  2. Avatar Jim Stitzel

    I had a feeling that was where this was going. Enjoyed it all the more before of it. :)

  3. Avatar Princess Binky Lemontwist (LoA)

    Perrrrrrrrfect! You did this beautifully! The imagery was fresh and almost so real you could touch it.

  4. Avatar Princess Binky Lemontwist (LoA)

    Welcome back btw. :)

  5. Avatar boxofun

    Beautiful! Very well written, and with a nice twist at the end! Congrats!

  6. Avatar Timbertoesa

    Beautiful. And I love this: “…a dull grey sky, pregnant with more.”

  7. Avatar Riley

    This is so wonderfully descriptive…

    dsfghjsdakf i don’t even know what to write here

  8. Avatar Stovohobo

    Very nice, although I spoiled it for myself by reading ethel’s first comment, and then the last line. My eyes have an unfortunate habit with that.

    Anyway all very good descriptions, although I’d be wary of straying in purple prose with so many adjectives and descriptors. It kind of lost me a few times on my first reading because of the sheer amount of information presented in a similar way. Good atmosphere though.

  9. Avatar Tad Winslow

    As soon as I convince myself another beautiful line can’t possibly be had you manage to surpass my assumptions and bludgeon my doubts to a pulchritudinous pulp!

  10. Avatar Emilou

    That was amazing. I absolutely love this story!! Fantastic job.

  11. Avatar Robert Quick

    Your desciptions are fantastic. It’s interesting that the protagonist is a faceless “she”. It feels like that makes her dreams/fantasies greater than her reality, a reality that is arguably more fantastic. A case could be made for Nature vs technology too I think.

  12. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Nicely told. I liked the meaning at the end of the big paragraph that is only fully evident after you read the last paragraph. Nice imagery and comment on human nature and a need for cycles.

  13. Avatar Shamaliane

    Very nice descriptions! When I first read it, the verb tense and sheer volume of description made me get a bit lost, but after reread, an awesome picture formed in my head. Thanks. :)

  14. Avatar Demi Beneke

    I could picture myself right there and then…I love reading things that transport me to the moment of the story

  15. Avatar Sunny Leigh Meadows

    I love your writing style. I was so wrapped up in the scenery that the ending took me by surprise!

  16. Avatar Scrawler's Secret

    Homesick. Just the sight of something familiar can help so much. And also just the need to keep track of time. Day to day time is one thing but what of the years the months of the season. what an excellent way to keep people sane as they hurtle through space.

  17. Avatar Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars

    Very evocative. It’s rare that a story can transport the reader fully into another world, let alone two worlds. Loved it.

  18. Avatar H.S. Wift

    It’s no secret that I love great descriptive pieces, and your imagery was so defined that we could all build an image of it in our minds. This was very well done, and your work is a credit to you.

  19. Avatar RoseTone ~LoA~

    Well crafted atmosphere!

    Having spent most of my life around forests, I can imagine the stress a long period of time confined to a metal dwelling would engender.

  20. Avatar Abby (LoA)

    I didn’t see the twist at the end coming. I was expecting fantasy, not sci-fi! You paint a perfect picture. Like H.S. Wift, I absolutely adore lusciously descriptive pieces such as this one. It’s so much easier to read when your imagination only has to do half the work.

    And I liked how you crafted the character. Her humanity was appealing to me.
    Good job, and many thanks for entering the challenge.

  21. Avatar Pyropunk 51 (PPP LoA)

    Nice twist. did not expect it either!

  22. Avatar Eloquent Mess {(LoA)}

    This is a fantastic piece! It gives me another perspective on life in space (something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately).

    Wonderful. Congratulations on the win!