Officer Jones is on the Case

Avatar Author: Alexa Reed (LoA) *Read & Reply Ficly or Die* - League of Awesomeness Oath. (June 2014) Currently out of work and I should be using my computer to look for a job but Ficly is more enticing. I love comments - leaving them and giving... Read Bio

Officer Jones took a deep breath before leaving the patrol car. In her limited time with the Police Department, she had made mistakes. She could not understand the laughter of the other officers, the anger of superiors, or the presumption that she would know to follow “an unwritten rule.” These thoughts were her central focus as she approached the car.

“Hello, officer,” the driver greeted her.

“Hello, citizen. You were going fast. I must write you a ticket.”

“I like your attitude. None of that, ’Where’s the fire?’”

Anxious, she looked up from the ticket. “Am I supposed to say that?”


Still scribbling on the ticket, she attempted conversation. “I see you are a collector.”


“Yes,” she motioned to the backseat. “Blankets and guns.”

“Right. I collect blanket-covered guns. It’s a passion.”

“Well, sir,” she finished the ticket, “do not make a habit of collecting these.”

Officer Jones walked away, pleased she had warned him against speeding again. She was sure that that was correct.

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Comments (13 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Alexa Reed (LoA)

    Officer Jones lacks the ability to be suspicious, in case that was missed.

  2. Avatar The Fantastic Mister Fish

    lol I need to get myself a blanket covered gun
    it sounds…intriguing.

  3. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    clearly in the wrong field!
    maybe she should sell something door to door instead… :)

  4. Avatar Pat J

    I was trying to decide if Officer Jones is a robot or a person with some form of autism.

    The “blanket-covered gun” bit made me laugh.

  5. Avatar Alexa Reed (LoA)

    Officer Jones is an alien. That was the point of the whole challenge.

  6. Avatar Hobo Beard Bob

    Officer Jones is actually a better cop than half of the ones who have pulled me over. I like it.

  7. Avatar Alexa Reed (LoA)

    That was you????

  8. Avatar Aurelia

    Hilarious! “Blanket-covered guns.”

  9. Avatar j. smthng

    I really like your characterization of Officer Jones; I think the alienness really came out well. The driver comes out well, too; distinct voice, even though he only has a few lines.

    (Actually, Jones reminded me of Amelia Bedelia!)

  10. Avatar Alexa Reed (LoA)

    I read the Amelia books when I was kid, but I can honestly say that nothing makes me think of her now.

  11. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Hilarious. Quite the character and not unlike a few odd people I know in real life. Nice job also making her pitiable instead of just laughable.

  12. Avatar cthulhuburger

    I agree that collecting blanket-covered guns is quite funny! Lacking “the ability to be suspicious” is a little hard to convey, though. Maybe the reason I had trouble picking up on it was because she gets right to writing the ticket, and the driver remarks on it. I thought maybe she lacked the ability to multitask: she was too singlemindedly focused on the speeding ticket to consider anything else.

  13. Avatar Pablo Vilas

    This could turn into a story like “Memento” where everybody but the POV knows what’s going on, darkly funny. My compliments.