The dialogue is good, and the setup of desperation is good. But “…parked at the back of the park…” feels like a word hiccup. I’m not sure there’s a good synoynm for either ‘park’, but even to swap around to “…parked in the shade at the back of the park where the gays reportedly…” might be enough distance to unjam it. Again, only a hiccup in a good story.

hmm thanks, something to think about.. i think I like it..

“A magician don’t tell his secrets”- exactly the slimy kind of line I would expect Duane to come out with. I was totally sold on this character.