Nice. Certainly a more hopeful spin.

Both paragraphs are nice, but the story is ohkay. When reading this the paragraphs are nearly separate. There isn’t much connecting them. At first this starts of almost satirical, but then it switches to something more purely emotional. The theme of this story and the prequel are interesting, but a better connection may be in need of development.

agreed, it feels more like a collage than a sequel. it starts again, not from the last point of departure.