Nightmare Clowns: No Escape

Avatar Author: Robert Quick A no-name, aspiring author who can't stop writing. Looking ahead, he strives for perfection. Shackled by various forms of entertainment, he dreams of success. Most stories here are an invitation to YOU, to join me in cre... Read Bio

Anne was standing on her apartment porch when I pulled up, clenching and unclenching her fists in short staccato bursts. At the sound of my car door closing, she blanched and jerked her head in my direction.

I knew she had been on edge ever since her house burned down but this seemed dramatic even for her.

Intending to calm her down, I spread my arms wide and offered her what I hoped was a reassuring smile. “We just moved you in, you’re not planning on leaving already?”

“I can’t stay here. They knew where to find me. They were waiting for me this morning. I thought the fire would stop them but it didn’t!” She grabbed my arm with shaking hands.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down there. Who will get you?” I asked.

She took a hand off my sleeve to point down. “The clowns.”

Filthy dolls lay spread out across the wooden planks of the porch.

A creeping dread crawled over my shoulders, stirred by memory. “Aren’t those the same ones that used to give us nightmares as kids?”

“Yes, except for the big one. He’s new.”

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Comments (9 so far!)

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  1. Avatar 32 ^2

    The last line is great, kind of comedic in a way, or just my morbid imagination.

  2. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Yeesh, that was icky, so nicely done and kudos. Absolutely killer last line.

  3. Avatar August 2nd

    I don’t think there’s any way to improve this story, Robert. The dialogue is natural and the horror vibe has just the right intensity.

  4. Avatar As Large as Alone

    I agree with all these comments. Great entry!

  5. Avatar ipe

    Ha! I love the last line as well. Well done.

  6. Avatar DB

    You win this time.

  7. Avatar BiC

    I think this line is best: ‘A creeping dread crawled over my shoulders…’. – Isn’t that exactly how we felt when we saw the picture? – Mr Quick, you wrote it well.

  8. Avatar JonB

    I found his “Who will get you?” a little misplaced, as she doesn’t say that they’re going to get her, in her previous dialogue. Other than that, effectively creepy and a truly excellent last line.

  9. Avatar DB

    @JonB I thought that too at first, but I figure you don’t want this kind of thing to feel too scripted, plus she is in some distress.