This is ... plain ... idiotic?

Avatar Author: DoItForScience I write some things, I bullshit others. My age is a secret. Second class gramma ninja extraordinaire, international spy for the League of Awesomeness. Shhhhhh.... Thanks to Phil Plait of Bad Astronomy for leading me to... Read Bio


The sibilant barely escaped his lips before the robot stopped him. The robot knew him too well.

“Can’t say that. Try ‘eat a dick’ instead.”

“F*@& off.”

The robot slapped him across the face, hard. “The alien overlords are going to apply a death penalty for this, remember! This coming T— Er, day that lies between Monday and Wednesday.” Even the robot had a hard time with this, being forced to think and speak brokenly. “I need ya alive so I can keep receiving maintenance, friend.”

The robot was silent for a moment. He was composing his sentences in his head before speaking now. “I really, really hate this. We have to invent new prono… Shit! We need a new word for ‘a person, place or thing’ and the… er… pro- versions, ya know, like we can still …say… I, he, she, it, we, and them, while we can’t say the others, or …say… some of the possessive forms. Shit! Even swearing is — er… nigh impossible now,” the robot ended awkwardly.

“Wait a second… can the aliens even spell in English?”

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Comments (5 so far!)

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  1. Avatar DoItForScience

    No, the title is not a comment on the challenge, it’s just that under the no-U rule imposed by the aliens, the humans can’t say “This is f-ing stupid” when thinking about the rule.

  2. Avatar Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)

    yeah we got it…

  3. Avatar C. Augusto Vald├ęs

    If aliens didn’t spell English, Does that means one’s damned by phonetics?

  4. Avatar DoItForScience

    Two possibilities crossed my mind: 1) The word ‘book’ could get you killed; 2) The aliens are pulling a big practical joke.

    Have it your way!

  5. Avatar QuackDamnYou

    A fun pairing :)

Whoa there, partner, hold up!

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