Duck Creed (avatar challenge)

Avatar Author: Radical Yellow Duck Ok, I'm back. One heart attack, a triple CABG (Coronary Artery Bypass Graft, pronounced cabbage) and two sessions of beating my computer into submission. I am back. I'm old. Real old. I'm so old I remember when dial... Read Bio

This is my Duck. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My Duck is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My Duck, without me is useless. Without my Duck, I am useless. I must use my Duck true. I must use my duck straighter than any enemy who is trying to kill me, or my duck. I must shoot him before he shoots me, or my duck. I will…

My duck and I know that what counts in war is not the rounds we fire, the noise of our quacks nor the smoke that we make. We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit…

My duck is human, even as I, because it is my duck. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weakness, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its bill and wings. I will keep my duck clean and ready, even as I, we will become part of each other. We will…

Before God I swear this creed. My Duck and myself are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. So be it, until Victory is mine and there is no enemy, but peace.

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Comments (19 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Textual Phoenix

    Epic win! I love “Full Metal Jacket”! Wonderful job, RYD.

  2. Avatar OneMoreDay(LoA)

    Here, here! Let the legacy of you and your duck live on in the hearts of your followers and the spirit of your stories as an inspiration! You and your duck are an ambitious pair but I believe in you!

  3. Avatar Radical Yellow Duck

    On a further note.

    If you visibly carry a duck around in your pocket people will almost never suspect that you have a hidden Sig Sauer P226 or Glock model 20 concealed on your person.

    This I know from experience.

    It gives the (in my case false) impression that this person must be completely harmless.

    heh heh heh

  4. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    lol, no one would cross your path either, if you carry a stuffed animal as a grown person, because they think you are mad…

    Then again I talk to myself…

    Ah well, you and your duck have a unique relationship.. one I don’t think I could begin to comprehend. ;) It’s got a samurai, king fu, flare to it.

  5. Avatar Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)

    Dude i saw this duck on quack call. He was a sergeant major in the quackery.

  6. Avatar Radical Yellow Duck

    HOOAAHHH!!!

  7. Avatar Radical Yellow Duck

    oh wait. if I am over 150 years old that would be…

    Huzzahhh!!

  8. Avatar Eloquent Mess {(LoA)}

    Love at first quack.

    FIVE PENCILS TO YOU SIR!

  9. Avatar The Silence [All By Myself] {LoA}

    OMG! I loved this! I want a duck! >_<

  10. Avatar DoItForScience

    Ok, from now on when I see a person carrying a duck around in their pocket in public, I’m gonna shout “GUN!” and dive into the nearest cover.

  11. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Really hilarious redux on that military rifle creed. The visual of an intense guy doing maneuvers with a duck is priceless. That and I kept imagining people in combat yelling, “Duck!” and everyone else being a little unsure what they meant.

  12. Avatar StudMuffin (LoA)

    ahaha.
    Doitforscience, I may join you in doing that

  13. Avatar Raegan Dauterive

    I loved this. It’s amazing, the first two sentences especially caught me and drew me in.

  14. Avatar sesquipedalian

    hahahaha wow.. this is from full metal jacket?
    that’s hilarious

  15. Avatar Radical Yellow Duck

    Actually it is derived form the riflemans creed, written in i think 1942, and memorized by every marine in recruit training since then. Full Metal Jacket used it because it followed marines from basic to nam

  16. Avatar Jessica Cahill

    This is awesome stuff man. “I will learn it as a brother.” Hahaha…I love it!

  17. Avatar Coccinella

    Respect

  18. Avatar butt saggington

    terrible

  19. Avatar butt saggington

    absolutely cack u sad dousch bag

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