The Good For Nothing Detective

Avatar Author: Francis James This is my redemption My last battle My last fight My last dying dream This is where it ends I will write one last story and then my dream of a writer shall no longer exist I plan to go more towards cooking th... Read Bio

“Sir someone is screaming outside.”
“A scream what type of scream, sharp, low, girlie?”
“A little bit on the girlie side sir. Might I ask why the persons scream matters?”
“It really has no matter in this; I just wanted to finish my crossword puzzle.”
“What if someone is being mugged, or worse murdered.”
“Well what good are you doing by just standing there by the door?”
“I thought maybe I should inform someone. You always tell me to do so sir.”
“Well now if someone out there is being murder don’t you think they have done so already, even before the screaming? Now that is no need for me to stop my crossword.”
“But sir what if they need us now.”
“That is not my problem; it is a big world out there. More people will come into it each day.”
“You don’t have the inspiration anymore do you? you would rather watch the world perish.” The young boy slammed the door as he left the detectives office.

View this story's details

Prequels

Oh no! This story doesn't have a prequel. Want to fill in the blanks and write one?

Comments (6 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar StudMuffin (LoA)

    lol.
    I really don’t know how to react…..

  2. Avatar Mostly Harmless

    Really good premise… Liked how it started with the ‘scream analysis’, which could’ve been a perplexing Holmes-like stroke of genius, but was actually just a delayer!

    Only discrepancy was in the ‘Well now if someone out there…’ line, I just don’t think it reads quite like you intended it to…

    Anyhoo, well done!

  3. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Yeah, a few little typo/grammar distractors but very funny piece of dialogue (one of my favorite ways to do a ficly, which sucks cause now you’ve stolen my idea for entering the challenge, and I have to come up with another clever device, so phooey!). Made me think of a burned out Holmes, which probably would have happened sooner rather than later considering the Heroin addiction.

  4. Avatar Eloquent Mess {(LoA)}

    In the July-September ’09 issue of “The Strand Magazine,” a story by Gillian Linscott called “The Case of the Unopened Letter” covers a topic very similar to this story.

    Sherlock Holmes has made a pile of many years’ worth of unopened letters, and Watson wonders why he never opened them. What if they contained a request from someone in dire trouble, needing Holmes’ help?

    Holmes explained that almost all of these letters were from people who either didn’t need or weren’t deserving of his assistance, for various reasons. One was a woman who proposed marriage twice a year. Another was from a man who sent death threats regularly.

    He explains after some time:

    “If a particular case, or opponent, presents a challenge which is of interest to me, then I accept it. For the rest, neither the whole of my lifetime nor of yours would be enough to redress all the cruelties and injustices of existence. A man would run mad even trying.”

    This made a good point, to me… Sad, but very true.

  5. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    I think he is merely training his assistant. :)

  6. Avatar April Raines

    This is a neat little story, and you’ve done an excellent job capturing the two different voices.

    My problem(s): far too many punctuation errors, and no spaces between the paragraphs (each of line dialogue by a new character counts as a paragraph). There are punctuation errors in all but 3 sentences; if you’d like to know what they are I can tell you – I know not everyone worries about such things.

This story's tags are