Veeeeeeeeery interesting plotline here! A lot could be made of this story.
Anyone who prequelises or sequelises this will have to think up something very clever indeed.
Although there are quite a lot of misplaced commas, missing full stops and some of the sentences run bumper-to-bumper with each other, it is still a very good story opener.
Well done!
=))

I’ve been trying to work on my dialog for a while, this was kind of an exercise in trying to tell a story just from conversation, as opposed to narrative.
thanks for the feedback!

The untagged dialogue was a little confusing, it took me a second read to be totally secure with it, but the plot driving the conversation is certainly an interesting idea – a bit ‘Time Traveller’s Wife’…

It would make it more readable if you tried breaking it into clearer paragraphs, and even separating dialogue with a line. If you have characters left of course.

Still, decent and intricate. Well done! MH :)