A brave, female foil to Hunter’s pottymouth – clever, he needs an opposite to balance this series out. I’m not sure about the aside in the brackets, it might read better if you finished the paragraph, went to a new line and wrote something like that: 9am. This better be a f****** important call. Seems to read better and stay true to character – just a thought. I liked it though. Clever, and starting to move the plot along – MH :)
A brave, female foil to Hunter’s pottymouth – clever, he needs an opposite to balance this series out.
I’m not sure about the aside in the brackets, it might read better if you finished the paragraph, went to a new line and wrote something like that:
9am. This better be a f****** important call.
Seems to read better and stay true to character – just a thought.
I liked it though. Clever, and starting to move the plot along – MH :)
Mostly Harmless Mostly Harmless